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Member Since 17 Aug 2014
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JOTD Guts and Balls

09 April 2017 - 01:24 PM

There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've heard colleagues referring to people with Guts or with Balls. Do they, however, know the difference between them?

Here's the official distinction; straight from the British Medical Journal: Volume 323; page 295.

GUTS - Is arriving home late, after a night out with the lads, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere? "

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the lads, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say: "You're next, Chubby"

I trust this clears up any confusion.

Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome; both are fatal.


17 March 2017 - 04:26 PM

An Irish couple took in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger.

She asked if she could have a bath, but the woman of the house told her they didn't have a bath, although if she wanted to, she could use a tin bath in front of the fire. "Monday's the best night, when my husband goes out to darts," she said.

The girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday. After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman filled the bath and watched the girl get undressed. She was surprised to see that the lass didn't have any hair "down there. "

She mentioned this to her husband when he came home. He didn't believe her, so she said: "Next Monday, when you go to darts, leave a little early and wait in the back garden. I'll leave a gap in the curtains so you can see for yourself."

So the following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife asked: "Do you shave?" "No," replied the girl. "I've just never grown any hair down there. Do you have hair?"

"Oh, yes," said the woman, and she pulled up her nightdress and showed the girl that she was really generously endowed in the hair department.....very generously indeed.

The girl finished her bath and went to bed. Later that night, when the husband came in, the wife asked him, "Did you see it?" "Yes," he said, "but why did you have to show her yours."

"Why ever are you worried about that?" she said. "You've seen it often enough before."

"I know," he said, "but the entire dart team hadn't!"


12 March 2017 - 10:48 AM

Attached File  dog nuts.jpg   37.31KB   8 downloads


27 February 2017 - 05:45 AM

Paratrooper Training
    She went through the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take her first jump from a plane.
    The next day she called home to tell her mother the news."So, did you jump?" asked the mother.
    “Well let me tell you what happened,” the girl said.
    “We got up in the plane and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen people got up and just walked out of the plane."
    “Is that when you jumped?” asked her mother. “Uh, no. The sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door.”
    ”Did you jump then?” asked her mother. “I’m getting to that."
    "Everyone else had jumped, and I was the last one left on the plane." "I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump."
    "He told me to get off the plane or he’d kick my butt.” “So, did you jump?"
    “No. He tried to push me out of the plane but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go."
    "Finally, he called over the Jump Master." "The Jump Master is this great big guy about six-foot six and 280 pounds." He said to me, “Are you gonna jump or not?’’
    I said, "No sir, I’m too scared.”“So, the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took out his Johnson.
    I swear, Mom, it was about ten inches long and big around as a baseball bat!"
    He said, "Either you jump out that door or I’m sticking this bad boy right up your ass."
    “So, did you jump?” asked her mother. The daughter responded, “A little at first.”  

LG G4 and wireless charging

26 February 2017 - 11:44 PM

Anyone using a LG G4 phone with wireless charging? I bought a rear cover for the phone that is supposed to work, but I'm not having any luck. The phone is slightly curved, maybe that is the problem. It does charge very briefly but then stops. I have moved it, turned it and cussed it and still nothing.