Pollyanna meets Debbie Downer

Donstar · June 7

We are good at identifying the negatives in our lives and often struggle with the positives. I've had some "bad luck" over the past few months and I tell people on a need to know basis. It can be cathartic unloading to a friend but unless you add some positives you remain feeling bad. My wife is a master of making negatives into positives. Example: Approximately four weeks ago me and a mandolin (not the musical type) had an argument and my left thumb took a beating. This past Monday morning I was telling my wife how I'm finally able to use this thumb without causing pain. That afternoon, I was working on my trailer and drilling through a thick piece of metal. The bit broke as I was applying pressure and the drill with half of a loaded bit found its way in the nail of my right thumb and out the other side. I sheepishly retreated to my wife prepared to hear about what I did wrong. However, once she got over the shock and blood she assessed the damage and her comments like, "you are so lucky it didn't hit a bone," and it's good this happened after your other hand was better was far more medicinal than all of what came out of the first-aid kit! My "good luck" sticks with me and when I tell my story of my two thumbs it's told in a way to share my good fortune! There is a fun thread where we share beefs and here is one we can challenge ourselves to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear!

Edited June 7 by Donstar

KARNUT · June 7

I was lucky and retired at 58. I hit the ground running, I had a list. I have two houses on three acres to take care of. At the time I still had a classic vehicle I wanted to work on. This is after building a family business that in the first 20 years was daylight to dark, seven days weather permitting. I didn’t realize, if it would have made a difference. You pay for abusing your body. Just look at athletes. Genetics play a role. After two weeks I was in trouble. I hurt my back leading to stomach muscle problems. I couldn’t move. It was so bad I was looking into assisted living establishments at 58. The next thing I learned the healing process takes awhile. One of the things that worked against me was the physical work I always did. Probably made me too strong for my abuse body. I was lifting things I shouldn’t have done by myself. It took awhile for me to pace myself. It took awhile removing some of the manual stuff off the list. I try to do very little without a plan. If I’m going to do a strenuous activity I wait a few days after to see if I stressed something. For me it’s not instant. So if I pile on that’s where the trouble is. As far a happiness. I married my sole mate. I’m the luckiest person alive. Realizing getting older is just a natural process of life. And believing in the almighty. Things will eventually get much better.

KARNUT · June 8

My wife is the most positive person I know and it rubs off. I’ve never been negative. I’m more positive because of her. I believe your limitations are your own. You can succeed regardless. My father for example had dyslexia before they knew what it was. It made him unruly in school. They showed him the door in eight grade. He became a millionaire twice. Leaving us with a thriving business. My wife 10 years ago suffered a botched surgery. Five surgeries five years in a row, she finally got through it. Somewhat handicapped you wouldn’t know it. Physical therapy is a monthly procedure. The experts she found to get her well. Were through her efforts of not giving up. Drugs weren’t an option for her. She spends her day checking in her mother and being a secretary for our church. She doesn’t complain.

Grumpy Bear · June 9

On 6/7/2023 at 9:55 AM, Donstar said:

................ we can challenge ourselves to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear!

As the world looks at it, I never had much and still have most of that. But I always had enough. I could have had allot more but I kind of get in my own way sometimes. Turns out that was a blessing. Such self-induced affliction taught me to be quite content with what I do have and that the richest and happiest people in the world are not the ones with the most money or stuff but those who need the least. Those aware of their spiritual need are far happier that those aware of the swings of the markets.

How much does one need to enjoy a perfectly prepared meal? Enjoy sunsets and sunrises. Trill at the song of evening crickets. Watch your children grow and not just grow up. Get lost in your wife's eyes or your child's smile. Awe at God's grand creations and how wonderfully they function in spite of men. That he cares about me and for me.... personally. To know that truth exist apart from opinion. To be secure in your knowledge. Enough so to ignore the noise that could steal your peace. Rob your joy. To explore your gifts.

You don't pay money for any of this. You pay attention.

Edited June 9 by Grumpy Bear

Donstar · June 10

It is incredibly motivating to cherish what you have. I new a man who's response to, "How are you doing today?" was typically, "I'm on the green side of the grass, thank you!" His motivation to be excited about the day was as basic as being alive. This man had what most would consider a hard life but never complained and his positivity was contagious. He was a joy to be with. I have a neighbour that when you ask how she's doing you inevitably receive a litany of complaints. Lately, she talks about maid and not the kind that helps around the house. Of course we all need to pay attention to her and this is why I believe she says such things! Yesterday I was filling up my truck next to a lady who was upset about the new gas price of 199.9 cents per litre. She broke into a smile when I told her how much much easier now it is to do the math. I knew that her budget was like me and determining how much gas she was buying, not the automatic shut-off!

Donstar · June 12

My lawnmower was literally falling apart and the need to replace it was confirmed when my dog presented my wife with a piece of rusted metal left behind during a recent mow. I am at the stage where yardwork is often paid for but I do like to walk behind a lawnmower on occasion. The price of a new self-propelled lawn mower would pay for many cuts by a professional yard service so it would not be justifiable to spend this much money buying new. So I put an ad online looking for a used lawnmower that was self propelled and in good condition. I explained my needs and didn't think the ad would attract a suitable response.. After a couple of weeks a lady emailed me offering a 10 year old battery powered, self propelled mower for an exceptionally low price and asked if I was interested. I know the new electrics are very popular here but very expensive. I said sure I'll have a look but prior to going to her home, I phoned our local battery store and found the price of battery replacement, which may be needed, could make this an expensive purchase. I emailed her back and said sorry. She wrote back again expressing her disappointment saying it won't need batteries for years and offered me an even lower price. I started to sense she was trying to do me a favour so mostly out of courtesy, I went and had a look. It turns out that her husband was now unable to do any yardwork which he truly loved. He wanted to "sell" his equipment to people who would care for the item as well as he did. This lawnmower could have passed as new and I promptly paid full asking price. (I actually offered more but they wouldn't accept). I have now cut my lawn twice with this machine. The money I have saved by cutting it myself these two times significantly exceeds the price I paid for my "new" lawnmower. This positive experience was incredibly uplifting.

KARNUT · June 12

12 minutes ago, Donstar said:

My lawnmower was literally falling apart and the need to replace it was confirmed when my dog presented my wife with a piece of rusted metal left behind during a recent mow. I am at the stage where yardwork is often paid for but I do like to walk behind a lawnmower on occasion. The price of a new self-propelled lawn mower would pay for many cuts by a professional yard service so it would not be justifiable to spend this much money buying new. So I put an ad online looking for a used lawnmower that was self propelled and in good condition. I explained my needs and didn't think the ad would attract a suitable response.. After a couple of weeks a lady emailed me offering a 10 year old battery powered, self propelled mower for an exceptionally low price and asked if I was interested. I know the new electrics are very popular here but very expensive. I said sure I'll have a look but prior to going to her home, I phoned our local battery store and found the price of battery replacement, which may be needed, could make this an expensive purchase. I emailed her back and said sorry. She wrote back again expressing her disappointment saying it won't need batteries for years and offered me an even lower price. I started to sense she was trying to do me a favour so mostly out of courtesy, I went and had a look. It turns out that her husband was now unable to do any yardwork which he truly loved. He wanted to "sell" his equipment to people who would care for the item as well as he did. This lawnmower could have passed as new and I promptly paid full asking price. (I actually offered more but they wouldn't accept). I have now cut my lawn twice with this machine. The money I have saved by cutting it myself these two times significantly exceeds the price I paid for my "new" lawnmower. This positive experience was incredibly uplifting.

Since I was a tot I lived to see equipment work. I was mowing at 12. I got the same enjoyment hauling my own equipment. Louder than stock exhaust with the back window open at near redline was heaven to me. Gas or diesel. That and saving money I still mow my own lawn. The first equipment I ever ran at my father’s construction co. was a terex t-s 24 earth mover. I was 18. I will probably put a wheel chair lift for my mower if it came to it. I cant do too loud anymore but I have a good imagination. My first diesel with twin megaphone exhaust got thumbs up everywhere I went. Or maybe it was the load I was hauling. Riding my mower brings back those memories.

Donstar · June 15

Yesterday I sent a letter (email) to the General Manager of a local major chain store to tell him how much I enjoyed my visit on the previous day. It is a place I have to go to for a specific product and service. I dreaded going because my past few visits left me feeling bitter. On this visit the change in the store's climate was palpable. The staff were all happy, courteous, helpful and sincere. They enjoyed their jobs and weren't following a script or being disingenuous. There were some new faces and I could tell there had been some exceptionally strong and difficult leadership over the past few months. I wrote to the GM because I recognized and appreciated significant behind the scenes work. Those of us who have enjoyed some time in a leadership position know that you are often the kicking post for the mistakes of others and I felt he deserved some positive recognition. I did receive a very appreciative letter back from him but what happened next really emphasized strong leadership. While I was getting ready for supper an employee of the store (on his own initiative) phoned our house. He told me that when they were closing up for the day all employees received a copy of my comments about my recent visit to their store. He thanked me profusely. The GM turned all of the credit back to the employees where it belongs. Typically when you provide a work environment where employees feel safe, respected and appreciated, they will give you their best efforts! "Who knew??"

KARNUT · June 15

52 minutes ago, Donstar said:

Yesterday I sent a letter (email) to the General Manager of a local major chain store to tell him how much I enjoyed my visit on the previous day. It is a place I have to go to for a specific product and service. I dreaded going because my past few visits left me feeling bitter. On this visit the change in the store's climate was palpable. The staff were all happy, courteous, helpful and sincere. They enjoyed their jobs and weren't following a script or being disingenuous. There were some new faces and I could tell there had been some exceptionally strong and difficult leadership over the past few months. I wrote to the GM because I recognized and appreciated significant behind the scenes work. Those of us who have enjoyed some time in a leadership position know that you are often the kicking post for the mistakes of others and I felt he deserved some positive recognition. I did receive a very appreciative letter back from him but what happened next really emphasized strong leadership. While I was getting ready for supper an employee of the store (on his own initiative) phoned our house. He told me that when they were closing up for the day all employees received a copy of my comments about my recent visit to their store. He thanked me profusely. The GM turned all of the credit back to the employees where it belongs. Typically when you provide a work environment where employees feel safe, respected and appreciated, they will give you their best efforts! "Who knew??"

Being a business owner most of my life we’re aware that showing appreciation for service was the key. Money talks, we pay more. Turn over costs money. We don’t tolerate bad mouthing unhappiness. We eat lunch together sometimes at the local restaurant. It’s an hour break. We all wear uniforms good work brings bonuses. People don’t quit us. Bad apples don’t hang around long. We suffer no fools. It’s still can be done.

Donstar · June 18

These days most evenings you will find me watering or working in our front garden. The usual people walk by with their dogs and we exchange niceties. Last night a lady who normally walks with her husband and their two dogs was doing the task solo. I asked her where her better-half was and she said he's at home suffering from a, "man cold". I chuckled as I knew exactly what she was telling me. As she was walking away she added "Yea, it's dicey..." I went inside and repeated this exchange to my wife and we both laughed. (Comedians also target experiences that are relatable to their audience....)

Edited June 18 by Donstar