I'd like to try to help, but not sure if my ideas will be good oe bad.
First thing is I don't think you should require any extra relays as the up fitter switches already have them built in. One for each switch.
The wires coming out from the upfitter switches are fused as you know and supply positive power to whatever accessories you w ant to connect to them. Try connecting a test light to the wire you are connecting to and make sure it is properly controled by the aux switch you intend to use.
In your post you didn't mention where you connected the white wire. You did say that you connected the black wire to wire 966 (grey/black) using a quick slice Baja Designs supplied and then later that you attached black to ground. Just need to confirm where the black is actually connected, because it shouldn't be connected to any switch wires.
I'm not able too see the wire numbers in your attached pics, but will go get my print outs to double check which wire comes from which switch.