Wish I would have replied sooner but I supposes trading in for a Ford might not be a bad idea.
Pretty sure I have located where the noise is coming from - try this to see if the noise goes away:
1. Put in neutral and rev engine around 1,000 - 1,5000 rpm (you should be able to here it ticking)
2. Turn steering wheel all the way to the left while in that rpm range (haven't tried turning right yet) and you'll note that the noise disappears
3. Let off the gas and bring to an idle then turn wheel back to center
4. Noise should be gone when accelerating both in v4 and v8 mode
The noise completely goes away when i do this - whether doing city driving or on the highway, it's completely gone...There are only two causes that would make it go away, 1) the steering boot is letting the noise in and reseals itself after turning the wheel or 2) the steering assembly - from the boot all the way to the tie rods - is making the noise somewhere.
Makes sense when going over bumps that the noise goes away...something has to be loose/rattling down there. The steering assembly and components are all electronic now (new design) and does not run off of engine power (i.e power steering pump - simultaneously affecting any other pulley along the serpentine belt for that matter). I believe the noise gets louder due to engine vibration (i.e. rattling the steering assembly which is located right under the engine).
It's a wild guess but thought I'd share. Let me know if the above works for any of you all.
I will try to figure this shit out this weekend and post a pic/video if noise is located and stopped for good.