Donstar

You aren't adding to my concern. I'm already full! Over the past year of waiting for a surgical date, my shoulder pain is rare. Movement in my left shoulder is very limited but elbow to hand is fully functional. This is my dominant arm so it took awhile to break years of habits. Reaching for a plate out of the cupboard, for example, will generate sharp expletives out of my mouth! Now that I've reassigned such tasks to my right, pain is manageable. Joint replacement does eliminate osteoarthritis from the joint but will this joint get any worse if left untreated? I have pre-op meetings on Monday and will be asking this question. I know it is a case of short term pain for long term gain but I'm questioning if the gains will justify the journey I'm about to experience!

Severe osteoarthritis. The surgeon says he will likely do a reverse shoulder replacement.

Yesterday I got the call with a date for my shoulder replacement. In less than two weeks, I'll be convalescing! My research tells me that recovery varies considerably and I am motivated to strive for a fast return to normal! I am too busy to take time off from retirement!!

I shared this post with my wife and she thought it could be one that I wrote! The details all describe my history except the last comment changed for me over the past year. I think others have a point regarding how we currently deal with mental illness.

I am still learning as I know there is plenty I don't know. I did go several months without an address when I was young and have a pretty good rag to riches story. I do appreciate there was some luck involved and the strategies I used were almost instinctive. I don't understand all of the complexities of the homeless issues and I am becoming more ignorant over time! Sometimes the obvious isn't so obvious! Yesterday my wife wanted to tighten a handle on a frying pan and called out to me to bring her a screwdriver on my way out of the garage. Rather than question what type she wanted, I grabbed an assortment of common heads and sizes. She chose the one that worked for her. I thought it was obvious that a Philips screwdriver would be preferable to use on a Philips screw but she found a small slotted screwdriver worked best for her!

Ditto. I never considered work optional. If I didn't like my work, I found a new job! I believe it is an easier existence to "earn" my room and board than to exist homeless. Unfortunately, there are many who are unable or possibly unwilling to self support. We simply can't leave them to die.

We live in and near popular retirement destinations. Today we're having lunch with a couple who taught in classrooms next to me in a small northern community for two years 46 years ago. We re-met fairly recently. We found them living a couple of blocks away from us in a city over 1k miles from where we originally met. We stumbled upon each other by fluke. This isn't the same as your story but I can appreciate the excitement of meeting someone who shares and validates your treasured experiences.

We asked the police to do a wellness check on an adult child with physical and (we believe) mental challenges who was ghosting us . We feared the worst but were relieved the visit sparked contact. Apparently this particular police department has a team of four professionals that do wellness checks as a combined group. They do a "thorough" assessment of the individual they are checking. Unfortunately for us the person being checked decides whether help is required. I agree with the rights of everyone but the flaw here is that this type of individual wouldn't need mental help if they were capable of recognizing they needed help! I am sickened when I see an individual curled up into a ball sleeping on a downtown sidewalk. Something was missed along the way and I'm certainly realizing how this can happen! For the third time in a year, rent money went to places other than the landlord's!

Waitlists for joint replacement need to be shorter but I wouldn't want to sacrifice quality of care for speed. I find some comfort in knowing the popularity of these procedure and that getting a date for surgery is a reason to celebrate!

Good comments about a manual transmission. ^^^^

I am on waitlists for shoulder and knee replacements and was told yesterday my wait will be longer than anticipated. "Soon" was the closest estimate I could get. Over the almost year of waiting, I am used to living with these failing joints and am no longer eager for surgery. However, I am assured by friends who have had joint replacements that they are well worth the wait and recovery. I have one friend who has had both knees replaced and recently had her second hip done. She is a wealth of information, good and bad, but insists the results are well worth any inconvenience. Waitlists validate the popularity of such procedures and I know I'm fortunate to have most of the wait behind me! I also appreciate how lucky I am and I'm not complaining. Maybe you have a joint replacement comment or tale to share.

Everyday I have a little "me" time when I go shopping or for a walk. My wife appreciates the quiet time. We do enjoy our alone time but dread the day one of us experiences this fulltime. Lately we have found ourselves showing each other how we do things. Over our five decades together many tasks have been assumed by one of us and we have developed proficiency in our assumed tasks. This exchange of lessons is occurring naturally and neither of us have imminent life threatening issues. However, we are both in our seventies and well aware of how lucky we are for the many years of being together. The other day we talked about this noticeable increase of sharing our individual ways of doing tasks. Of course we're both preparing each other for if they are the last one standing. This is not a happy conversation. However, it is a healthy discussion to have. We are committed to working together to support each other in such a practical way and allow the last one to properly grieve when the time comes. Most of us know of couples where the remaining partners have been left without basic knowledge of household finances or household maintenance. Both my father and my father-in law predeceased their wives. One of these wives was able to mourn and transition to the next stage in her life and the other spent a year straightening out business and household affairs.

We keep an emergency kit c/w medications. Last week I discovered included in the kit were some pain medication that are still on my list of current prescriptions. The date on the container was 2022 so I decided to use these and replace them with fresh pills. My intentions were good but were wrong. I always thought that "best before" regulations for pills was more of a legal requirement than a measure of efficacy. After a day or two of feeling rough, I asked a pharmacist if three year old pills could be ineffective. She assured me that using three year old pills were most likely the cause of my current discomfort and to bring in my old medication for proper disposal. After two days of returning to current medication, I am back to my geriatric normal! The timing of my ill health and change in medication could be coincidental but I won't be using a time of crisis to find out!

Yes, I did the co sign mistake with our struggling child decades ago. Our shared DNA was the only reason I agreed. "Family" is an incredibly powerful reason for support or abuse.

Thanks, Karnut. It is hard to understand how a middle aged child living on the edge can impact parents until you've had the experience. Siblings of our struggling offspring are watching how we deal the situation. They are "understanding" but we know it is a new experience for them. They are preparing to launch their own children into adulthood and are doing all the right things. There are no guarantees of immediate success and hopefully they will benefit from our example in the event of any delayed launch! Karnut and others will appreciate that in less than two hours I'll be observing the beginning of the launch sequence for one of my grandchildren on a livestream from the Tomball ISD 2025 graduation ceremony! This promises to be a very successful launch for our first grandchild!

One of our 45+ year old children continues to live for the moment with no preparation for tomorrow. Our efforts to guide and assist are in vain. This individual lives on the edge of homelessness but manages to meet minimal requirements to have a home and food in the fridge. Admittedly, we have paid the rent and filled the fridge on occasion throughout this person's adulthood. Our sincerest sympathy goes out to the parents who lose/lost a child to the streets. It is unbelievable pain to imagine it, never mind experience it! We know of two couples in the past couple of years who brought home a 40+ year old offspring to offer a better quality of life. It didn't work out for either of them but I understand why the parents did it. We know, and these examples confirmed, that we can't bring this offspring back for a re-launch! Sometimes sharing with other seniors with similar situations helps relieve our stress and sadness.

Hopefully his kids were excited that their dad was enjoying his money! If I sensed that any of my kids were monitoring their potential inheritance, for any other reason than to make sure I'm spending my money, I'd be rewriting my will! My father bought a new Silverado a few months before he passed away. My siblings and I were absolutely thrilled that he tossed aside the practical and brought something that made him very happy.

For me, looking back (hindsight) often makes things look easier than they actually were at the time. In my late 40's and 50's I was worried about not having enough money to support a long retirement. A short retirement was easier to plan for but makes for a very poor plan! Fast forward to today, we're financially able to live a comfortable life for as long as circumstances beyond our control don't get in the way. My kids are all in their 40's and I like to ask them about their retirement plans. The part they need to appreciate is that they are not as far away from their retirement years as they may think!

Well said, Roger! I like the part I use to hear that you won't need as much money during retirement. You won't need work related clothing, tools, transportation etc. Also, your kids will be financially independent. You may see some savings here but any money saved won't cover the new budget surprises! Twice in the past week I've come across two acquaintances who are older than me and still on the job. Neither tried to tell me that they're working as a choice. Retirement planning is a must and the earlier you start, the better. I am not a great example but glad I did enough pre-planning to be comfortable.

Yes, I am driving and believe/hope I am good for several more years. I do keep an eye on mobility scooters as a way to lessen the fear of losing the privilege of a driver's license. My mom had one for outdoors and one for indoors. We live in an urban neighborhood with a heavy focus on accessibility. Bike lanes and pedestrian pathways make driving for basic outings less essential. My father voluntarily quit driving when he knew it was time. Later, when he was confined to a hospital bed in the later weeks of stage 4, he was asked to surrender his license. He was devastated and I was mad as hell!

It turns out that I misunderstood and that an OEM thermostat was less expensive than the aftermarket! I'm fine with factory parts. However, delivery has been a problem and I'm still without my truck! We've shared my wife's Yaris for the past couple of days which has helped support my case to remain a two vehicle couple! It is rare that we both need to drive separately but we have different tastes in vehicles. She likes small, easy to drive and practical! I'd be comfortable with a one ton 4X4 diesel dually as a grocery getter! Our compromise finds her accepting a small SUV and I'm at a base model 1/2 ton! Fifty years of living together has me realizing I need to take care of my current truck if I hope to have a pickup in my future! The new small pickups (ie: Maverick) seem like a logical compromise but are currently viewed as a lose, lose rather than a win, win.