Your Starship Captain May Be A Redneck...

[HillHound]

I saw this on another truck board (F150online to give them credit) and got a good laugh from it.  BTW-I am a Trekkie so some of this would be "inside humor" if you're not a Star Trek fan!

 

1. Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month.

 

2. He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp drive.

 

3. You have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob".

 

4. He refers to Klingons as "critters".

 

5. He refers to Photon Torpedoes as "popguns".

 

6. He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coat hanger

and aluminum foil.

 

7. He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the ship.

 

8. He says, "got your ears on good buddy" instead of

"hailing all frequencies".

 

9. His idea of a "gas giant" is that big ol' XO Bubba after a

meal of beans and weenies.

 

10. He wears mirrored shades on the bridge.

 

11. He paints the starship John Deere green.

 

12. His moonshine is stronger than Romulan ale.

 

13. He refers to a pulsar as a "Blue Light Special".

 

14. He hangs fuzzy dice over the view screen.

 

15. He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and

turnip greens.

 

16. He rewires his communicator into his belt buckle.

 

17. He refers to the Mutara Nebula as the "swamp".

 

18. He keeps a cooler under his command chair and a

gunrack above it.

 

19. He yells "Yee-haa" instead of engage.

 

20. He sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmasters".

 

       

[HillHound]

And I wanted to add my few own lines to this list:

 

21.  He carries a Super Redhawk instead of a phaser!

 

22.  He calls his first officer "Bub" instead of "Number One"!

 

23.  The holodeck data bank has alot of "Buckmasters" virtual  reality programs!

 

 

[sincityZ71]

LMAO    

 

That would be so cool.  I can just see the Enterprise painted John Deere green, lol.