We thought this standardized form would help

[Vortec5.3]

We thought this standardized form would help simplify the dating process and make it more business-like...

 

Dear ,

 

I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as "The Perfect Guy [  ] Girl [  ]". As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut.

 

I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening come available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition:

 

(Check those that apply)

 

_Your first name is objectionable. It's just not something I can picture myself yelling out in a fit of passion.

 

_Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms by the truckload" indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality.

 

_Your legs are skinnier than mine. If you can FIT into my pants, then you can't GET into my pants.

 

_You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck condition from trying to kiss you.

 

_I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.

 

_The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.

 

_Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead me to suspect that you are some sort of psychotic stalker.

 

_Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should, however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please resubmit your application.

 

_I am out of your league; set your sights lower next time.

 

 

Sincerely, ___