Mass. Suicide

[General Lee 01]

A Newspaper reporter was about to get fired cause he wasn't getting good "scoops" lately. The reporter was depressed over losing his job, so he decided to kill himself.

 

So he finds the highest cliff he can find, and climbs it. And prepares to jump. But all the sudden,he hears somebody yell "WAIT!".

 

The Reporter turns around and sees Tom Cruise running towards him.

 

Cruise: "I've made all the movies I can make, I want to kill myself!"

 

Reporter: "Ok, we can do it together."

 

So they get ready to take their final leap, when they hear another person yell "WAIT!" and run up to them. This time it's Bill Clinton.

 

Clinton: "I've gone through every woman there is in this country, Hillary's divorcing me, and demanding everything i own! I want to kill myself."

 

So they agree to do it together.

 

Then, Jesse Jackson shows up.

 

Jackson: "I've got no more fights to fight. I wanna kill myself!"

 

So they all four decide to go together.

 

"1..2.. 3.. JUMP!"

 

And they do so.

 

But, the Reporter faked jumping, and stayed at the top.

 

Reporter: "WOW! Bill Clinton, Jesse Jackson, and Some actor committed suicide! This will make a great story!".