Heavens new acceptance policy

[MadFish]

> It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided

> to change the admittance policy. The new law was that, in

> order to get into Heaven, you had to have a real bummer of

> a day when you died. The policy would go into effect at

> noon the next day.

>

> The next day at 12:01 pm, the first person came to the

> gates of Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering the new

> policy, promptly said to the >man, "Before I let you in, I

> need you to tell me how your day was going when you died."

>

> "No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th floor

> apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife half naked.

> She appeared to be having an affair, but her lover was

> nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My

> wife was yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment.

> Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out

> onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging

> off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of that guy!

> Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers

> until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he

> landed in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he

> didn't die. This ticked me off even more. In a rage, I went

> back inside to get the first thing I could get my hands on

> to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of

> was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto

> the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25

> stories and crushed him! The excitement of the moment was

> so great that I had a heart attack and died almost

> instantly."

>

> The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the

> guy did have a bad day. It was a crime of passion. So, the

> Angel announced, "OK, sir. Welcome to the kingdom of

> Heaven," and let him in.

>

> A few seconds later the next guy came up. The Angel said ,

> "Before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your

> day was like when you died."

>

> "No problem," said the second man. "But you're not going to

> believe this. I was on the balcony of my 26th floor

> apartment doing my daily exercises. I had been under a lot

> of pressure so I was really pushing hard to relieve my

> stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and

> accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to

> catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine.

> But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his

> apartment, starts cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well,

> of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom

> which broke my fall so I didn't die right away. As I'm

> laying there face up on the ground, unable to move, and in

> excruciating pain, I see this guy push his REFRIGERATOR, of

> all things, off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and

> lands on top of me, killing me instantly."

>

> The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man

> finishes his story. "I could get used to this new policy,"

> he thinks to himself.

>

> "Very well," the Angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom

> of Heaven," and he lets the man enter.

>

> A few seconds later, a third man comes up to the gate. The

> angel says, "Please tell me how you died."

>

> The third man says, "OK, picture this. I'm naked, hiding

> inside a refrigerator..."