You may have had too much coffee when

[Jpshostr]

* Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.

* You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.

* You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

* You sleep with your eyes open.

* You have to watch videos in fast-forward.

* You lick your coffeepot clean.

* Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

* The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.

* You can type sixty words a minute with your feet.

* You can jump-start your car without cables.

* Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."

* You don't sweat, you percolate.

* You've worn out the handle on your favorite coffee mug.

* You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.

* You've worn the finish off you coffee table.

* The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.

* Starbuck's owns the mortgage on your house.

* You're so wired you pick up FM radio.

* Your life's goal is to "amount to a hill of beans."

* Instant coffee takes too long.

* You want to be cremated just so you can spend eternity in a coffee can.

* You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar."

* Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.

* Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.