Things to Ponder

November 14, 2002

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes

out"?

Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's behind".

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the T2 lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the toilet is?

Why do gynecologists leave the room when a woman gets undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your a##?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he

sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

??? ???

elboberino · November 14, 2002

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

Answer: Because there are all those indecent people that like to eat the burnt toast....my ex-roommate for example.

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

Answer 1: Wyle E. Coyote has a line of credit with ACME

Answer 2: Only the vegetarian place delivers to the middle of the desert.

Worktruck · November 14, 2002

You forgot....Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway????????????

General Lee 01 · November 14, 2002

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the toilet is?

What do you call male ballerinas?

My answers...

1. Cause he knew staying on that island was the only chance he'd ever have of sleeping with Maryanne.

2. Cause they're afraid they'll either get slapped or end upin a ugly stranger's bedroom.

3. Anyting except for "Male".

The SPEEDY · November 15, 2002

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

1. Cause he knew staying on that island was the only chance he'd ever have of sleeping with Maryanne.

Now thats a smart man, you can tell the professor knows how to think with his head.

95whtZR2 · November 15, 2002

Why do places of business that stay open 24hrs. have locks on the doors?

BDBWTE · November 19, 2002

Why do they sterilize lethal injection needles?

Chev4Ever · November 24, 2002

Here are a few more

Why is it when we ask for the check in a restaurant they bring us a bill?

If someone crashes his or her car on purpose, why is it still a car accident?

If Sunday is the holy day of rest why do we have to get up early for church?

When you snap your fingers, does the sound occur when your middle finger releases from your thumb, or when your middle finger hits the palm of your hand? Try it.. Ya it sounds stupid but its hard to tell

Why are you IN a movie, but your ON TV?

Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"?

What is the parking situation like at the Special Olympics?

Is an alcoholic just a drunk that's scared of a hangover?

If shampoo comes in so many colors, why is the lather on your head always white?

How come, in the Mini Wheat’s commercials, Sweets has a Brooklyn accent and Wheat’s has an English accent? They're attached at the back, wouldn't they have been raised in the same place?

BethJean · January 20, 2003

Why is it Superman stands there while a guy shoots at him and then ducks when the guy throws his gun at him ?

Wingnut · January 20, 2003

A few more:

Why is the cold water faucet always on the right?

Why can you get a braille menu at the drive thru?

Why do you have to sometime pay to drive on a FREEway?

When dropping a piece of toast, it always lands jelly side down. When dropping a cat, it will always land on its feet....So...This begs the question: What would happen if you stapled a piece of toast (jelly side up) to a cats back, and threw it in the air?

To answer a previous question:

It's a zip file.

****Right click, save as****