Top 10 reasons why farm trucks are never stolen

Jen · July 20, 2002

I found this really amusing. Just thought I'd pass it along.

10. They have a range of about 20 miles before they overheat, break down or run out of gas.

9. Only the owner knows how to operate the door to get in or out.

8. It is difficult to drive fast with all the fence tools, grease rags, ropes, chains, syringes, buckets, boots and loose papers in the cab.

7. It takes too long to start and the smoke coming up through the rusted-out floorboard clouds your vision.

6. The Jack Russell on the toolbox looks mean.

5. They're too easy to spot. The description might go something like this: The driver's side door is red, the passenger side door is green, the right front fender is yellow, etc.

4. The multiple levels of haybales in the back make it hard to see if you're being chased. You could use the mirrors if they weren't cracked and covered with duct tape.

3. Top speed is only about 45 mph.

2. Who wants a truck that needs a year's worth of maintenance, u-joints, $3,000 in body work, taillights and windshield.

1. It is hard to commit a crime with everyone waving at you.

Gig'em Ags!!

gandolphxx · July 20, 2002

Nice work, you are obviously bored. Can't hardly wait for the resident farm folks to reply.

99Silver6.0 · July 20, 2002

Right on! My old turdmobile doesnt even need a key to start it.... Just a pair of vise grips! Had to take the tumbler out of the column becase the key got stuck and wouldnt turn. So we ripped apart the column and you just grab a little metal rod and yank on it to start the truck! Its a piece of crap all the way!

Elwood · July 20, 2002

Those were good, but I think the Number 1 reason should be...................

Because if you stole JP's truck he would hunt you down and beat the crao out of you. Then he would slowly kill you.

MountaineerTom · July 20, 2002

If I were to steal a farm truck, I'd steal JP's. Then I'd take it and wash it really good, detail it inside and out, then put it back where I got it from and see if he could find it.

TheScaryGuy · July 21, 2002

1. It is hard to commit a crime with everyone waving at you.

That one struck me as really funny for some reason! LOL

Then I'd take it and wash it really good, detail it inside and out, then put it back where I got it from and see if he could find it.

Tom, from one neat freak to another, your talking taking out the seats, pulling carpet, steam cleaning, + oddles of bottles of Glass cleaner.....

Least a Month for a better than professional cleaning....thats if both of us worked on it! lol

SnakeEyeSS · July 21, 2002

wiaty guys, I want in too. ;)

pacodiablo · July 21, 2002

also, would anyone really want to risk getting chased through a field of angry cows by JP? it's just not worth it!

Jpshostr · July 21, 2002

Really, only number one applies to me, really.

My list is more like:

1: Oh yuck, there is manure on the floor, wheelwells, tires, mirrors, panels, and many other places.

2: Could someone tell me how fast I'm going? Can't see the gauges.

3: Due to dirty windshield, driving with your head out the window to see gets old.

4: Damn this longbed makes it hard to drive, why would someone want one anyway?

5: Was the fine coat of manure already mentioned?

6: There is a huge, loud dog right next to you as you try to get in, followed closely by jp.

7: Theives don't like country music for the most part.

8: Where would all those screwy tools and other objects get dumped?

9: Who would want to steal a truck that has been used and abused when you can go down the road and easily find a pavement queen has led the easy life?

10: Again, most people buy the manure they put on their garden, not scrape it off a truck.

Jpshostr · July 21, 2002

If I were to steal a farm truck, I'd steal JP's. Then I'd take it and wash it really good, detail it inside and out, then put it back where I got it from and see if he could find it.

Tom, you may be biting off more than you can chew with that statement.

MountaineerTom · July 21, 2002

If I were to steal a farm truck, I'd steal JP's. Then I'd take it and wash it really good, detail it inside and out, then put it back where I got it from and see if he could find it.

Tom, you may be biting off more than you can chew with that statement.

Nah.

antig24 · July 21, 2002

those list about sum it up, I'll help the detailing of JP's truck

pacodiablo · July 21, 2002

9: Who would want to steal a truck that has been used and abused when you can go down the road and easily find a pavement queen has led the easy life?

not always true. a family member's ranger was stolen (used for work), along with all the equipment in it. 2 days later it was found covered in mud with the rear window broken out and all of the tools gone.