Dog Rules

[gnutruk]

Here’s another one for y’all. You may have seen it before, but first time for me. It showed up in the local paper.

 

 

DOG RULES

 

1. Dogs are never permitted in the house. The dog stays outside in a specially built wooden compartment named, for very good reason, the doghouse.

 

2. OK, the dog can enter the house, but only for short visits or if his own house is under renovation.

 

3. OK, the dog can stay in the house on a permanent basis, provided his doghouse can be sold in a yard sale to a rookie dog owner.

 

4. Inside the house, the dog is not allowed to run free and is confined to a comfortable but secure metal cage.

 

5. OK, the cage becomes part of a two-for-one deal along with the doghouse in the yard sale, and the dog can go wherever the hell he pleases.

 

6. The dog is never allowed on the furniture.

 

7. OK, the dog can get on the old furniture but not on the new furniture.

 

8. OK, the dog can get up on the new furniture until it looks like the old furniture and then we sell the whole d**n works and buy new furniture . . . . upon which the dog will most definitely not be allowed.

 

9. The dog never sleeps on the bed. Period.

 

10. OK, the dog can sleep on the foot of the bed.

 

11. OK, the dog can sleep alongside you, but he’s not allowed under the covers.

 

12. OK, the dog can sleep under the covers but not with his head on the pillow.

 

13. OK, the dog can sleep along side you under the covers with his head on the pillow, but if he snores he’s got to leave the room.

 

14. OK, the dog can sleep and snore and have rabbit-chasing dreams on the bed, but he’s not to come in and sleep on the couch in the TV room, where we’re now sleeping. That’s just not fair.

 

15. The dog never gets listed on the census form as “Head Of Household,” even if it’s true.

 

 

 

I’ll bet we could have fun making up a “Dog Rules For The Truck” version of this.

 

gnutruk

[tps0424]

Exactly! My dog isn't allowed in my truck. Ever. Except to go to obedience training. And the groomer. And when we go camping. And to the park......

[Hecktorx]

The only rule my dog has is no pooping in the truck.

 

 

Kenny

[JayMan]

Ha ha!

 

Except substitute for my cat, and you know who has taken over my house!

[Wingnut]

[Lance Link]

Our dog, a 12 pound Jack Russell Terrier, rides between us on the center console in both the Sierra and the Yukon. He can just see over the dashboard. He leans into the corners and everything.

 

Pic of Hobey the Wonder Dog:

 

[GDN]

When my dog goes with me (90 pound Black Lab) - the front seat is his - when someone else goes along - they usually get relegated to the back seat. It gets dirty and his nails scratch the leather sometimes - but he is my kid and after all - its just a truck. I keep the truck clean - even if he has been along - it is much cleaner than most of the people I work with that have kids - there are some of them I won't even ride in.

 

So the "Dog Rules" translates to the "Dog does Rule" for sure.

[GM GIMP]

Our dog has a 3 bedroom house with heat and

air and a nice king-size bed, and best of all she

lets us stay with her!

[bigdogs]

That is the reason I got a ext cab was so my mastiff Homer would fit in there, altho I wish there was a gate like they have in vans to keep him back there.

[gnutruk]

That is the reason I got a ext cab was so my mastiff Homer would fit in there, altho I wish there was a gate like they have in vans to keep him back there.

Hey bigdogs :

 

Mine rides on the rear seat of my ext. cab too. I have a tool box that comes up level with the seat, then I put in a big piece of foam with a sturdy blanket covering that. I cut the foam so I can very easily turn it up to block the gap between the front seats (I have buckets), without blocking me from getting into the console.

 

Works for both of us. I wanted a bit more protection for him, so he wouldn't plow into the back of the front seat so hard if I hit something. Easy for me to stuff out of the way if I need more space, easy to remove and clean, etc.

 

Of course, I have a medium size dog. If your mastiff is anything like what a neighbor once had, this foam idea won't keep him out from the front at all. More likely you'd need a welded steel screen of 1 inch dia. rod.

 

I'm careful letting my dog stick his head out the window. In the rear seat of the ext. cab I pop the swing window for him. That way he gets fresh air, and still gets to check out some of the smells of the country we're passing through.

 

One of the worst and most heartbreaking things I ever saw was at a vet's office once, where a dog caught a rock in the side of his face while going down the freeway in his owners car. Lost an eye, broken teeth, shattered jaw -- enough said, huh, all you dog lovers?

 

gnutruk

[bigdogs]

I end up folding up the seat to give Homer more room but he likes to climb in the front and with the leather that is a no no That thick foam cushion is a good idea. I may give that a try and see if that works. If there is something in the way he usually wont challange it to see how strong it. He is only 175lbs and is my smallest mastiff. I had one years ago that was 270 but he was a much better car rider.

[Elwood 2000]

When my dog goes with me (90 pound Black Lab) - the front seat is his - when someone else goes along - they usually get relegated to the back seat. It gets dirty and his nails scratch the leather sometimes - but he is my kid and after all - its just a truck. I keep the truck clean - even if he has been along - it is much cleaner than most of the people I work with that have kids - there are some of them I won't even ride in.

 

So the "Dog Rules" translates to the "Dog does Rule" for sure.

 

 

--------------------

 

My world exactly!!

[black&grayHD]

Dog was never allowed to look at the truck funny, so you can imagine the current scenario BUT...the cats think they are better than the dog rules. When I catch the b*****d who leaves his prints on the hood, it (or they) will learn the penalty