World Safety Alert

R Dogg 56 · December 25, 2004

Tonight, there has been a Safety Alert issued for the entire world. The alert is based on information from a secret base in the Arctic that a man, not on any terror list from the US, UK, EU, or even Africa or Asia, has been seen breaking into people's homes unannounced.

The man is described as being dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot, and his clothes are tarnished with ashes and soot. A bundle of toys he has flung on his back, and he looks like a peddler just opening his pack. His eyes, they twinkle, His dimples, they are merry. His cheeks are like roses, his nose like a cherry. His droll little mouth is drawn up like a bow, and the beard on his chin is as white as the snow. The stump of a pipe he holds tight in his teeth, and the smoke it encircles his head like a wreath. He has a broad face and a little round belly that shakes when he laughes, like a bowl full of jelly.

He is also be accompanied be nine reindeer, one of which has a uncommonly red nose, and a red sleigh that he uses to go from house to house. Anyone that encounters this person is asked to leave a plate of cookies and a glass of milk for him, as this seemingly is the best to deter the man.

But you'll hear him exclaim as he drives out of sight,

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, y'all!