Joke Thread

merlin5577 · October 8, 2008

If you are easily offended please leave the thread now. Like the topic says, enter at own risk.

I need a little help here ladies and gentlemen. A guy at work likes to crack raunchy jokes (in good fun, he is careful who he says them near) randomly to get the shock factor from people. I mean bad jokes. To give you an example he said to me today;

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?" "Nothing! Shes been told twice already!"

So what I need from you guys/girls is some ammunition to return fire. Give me jokes, dirty, clean, raunchy, off color, etc.... The more the merrier. Hopefully we can all get a laugh out of this at the same time.

Thank you.

2000DV4.8 · October 8, 2008

First off, IBTL.

What's worse than finding a worm in an apple?

Being buttraped.

What does 80 year old p*ssy taste like?

Depends.

GMAnimal · October 8, 2008

BAD BAD BAD

Sex is bad

Sex is a sin

Sins are forgiven

So stick it in.

VMax2007 · October 8, 2008

What's red and has 7 dents?

Snow White's Cherry.

sillyazz · October 8, 2008

If you are easily offended please leave the thread now. Like the topic says, enter at own risk.

I need a little help here ladies and gentlemen. A guy at work likes to crack raunchy jokes (in good fun, he is careful who he says them near) randomly to get the shock factor from people. I mean bad jokes. To give you an example he said to me today;

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?" "Nothing! You have already told the bitch twice !"

So what I need from you guys/girls is some ammunition to return fire. Give me jokes, dirty, clean, raunchy, off color, etc.... The more the merrier. Hopefully we can all get a laugh out of this at the same time.

Thank you.

Fixed it for ya. Ill keep my jokes to myself dont wanna get kick off of here.

VMax2007 · October 8, 2008

How do you know you have a severe underbite?

When you eat pu**y, it tastes like shit.

merlin5577 · October 8, 2008

If you are easily offended please leave the thread now. Like the topic says, enter at own risk.

I need a little help here ladies and gentlemen. A guy at work likes to crack raunchy jokes (in good fun, he is careful who he says them near) randomly to get the shock factor from people. I mean bad jokes. To give you an example he said to me today;

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?" "Nothing! You have already told the bitch twice !"

So what I need from you guys/girls is some ammunition to return fire. Give me jokes, dirty, clean, raunchy, off color, etc.... The more the merrier. Hopefully we can all get a laugh out of this at the same time.

Thank you.

Fixed it for ya. Ill keep my jokes to myself dont wanna get kick off of here.

Thanks. If there is a problem the mods/admins will tell us. Until then feel free to post.

GMAnimal · October 8, 2008

Mind Reading"

The weather was very hot, so this man wanted desperately take a dip in the nearby lake. He didn't bring his swimming outfit, but since he was all alone, he didn't care. He undressed and got into the water.

After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old ladies walked onto the shore in his direction. He panicked, got out of the water and grabbed a bucket, which laid on the sandy beach. He held the bucket in front of his private parts and sighed with relief.

The ladies got nearby and looked at him. He felt awkward and wanted to move. Then one of the ladies said, "You know, I have a special gift, I can read minds."

"Impossible," said the embarrassed man, "You really know what I think?"

"Yes," the lady replied, "I know that you think that the bucket you're holding has a bottom in it."

2000DV4.8 · October 8, 2008

Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench, when a guy in a trenchcoat jumps out of the bushes, and flashes them.

The first old lady had a stroke, the second old lady had a stroke. The third one couldn't reach.

GMAnimal · October 8, 2008

Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a machete to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"

To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a magnum gun and pointed it at him and said, "No you're not! You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book!"

2000DV4.8 · October 9, 2008

Three prostitutes are sitting in a bar, bragging about who was the biggest whore. The first one says "I can fit my whole hand in my hoo-ha" The second one says "I can fit BOTH hands, in my hoo-ha".

The third one, who has been quiet this whole time, looks at the other two, grins slyly, and slowly slides down the bar stool.

VMax2007 · October 9, 2008

Three prostitutes are sitting in a bar, bragging about who was the biggest whore. The first one says "I can fit my whole hand in my hoo-ha" The second one says "I can fit BOTH hands, in my hoo-ha".

The third one, who has been quiet this whole time, looks at the other two, grins slyly, and slowly slides down the bar stool.

That one reminded me of this one....

How do you fit 4 fags on one bar stool?

Flip it over.

merlin5577 · October 9, 2008

Three prostitutes are sitting in a bar, bragging about who was the biggest whore. The first one says "I can fit my whole hand in my hoo-ha" The second one says "I can fit BOTH hands, in my hoo-ha".

The third one, who has been quiet this whole time, looks at the other two, grins slyly, and slowly slides down the bar stool.

merlin5577 · October 9, 2008

Three prostitutes are sitting in a bar, bragging about who was the biggest whore. The first one says "I can fit my whole hand in my hoo-ha" The second one says "I can fit BOTH hands, in my hoo-ha".

The third one, who has been quiet this whole time, looks at the other two, grins slyly, and slowly slides down the bar stool.

That one reminded me of this one....

How do you fit 4 fags on one bar stool?

Flip it over.

A classic! I love it!