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Joke Thread

merlin5577

By merlin5577
in The Off-Topic Bar

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merlin5577 Senior Enthusiast

merlin5577

Posted
Posted

If you are easily offended please leave the thread now. Like the topic says, enter at own risk.

 

:lol: I need a little help here ladies and gentlemen. A guy at work likes to crack raunchy jokes (in good fun, he is careful who he says them near) randomly to get the shock factor from people. I mean bad jokes. To give you an example he said to me today;

 

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?" "Nothing! Shes been told twice already!"

 

:lol:

 

So what I need from you guys/girls is some ammunition to return fire. Give me jokes, dirty, clean, raunchy, off color, etc.... The more the merrier. Hopefully we can all get a laugh out of this at the same time. :thumbs:

 

Thank you.

2000DV4.8 Senior Enthusiast

2000DV4.8

Posted
Posted

First off, IBTL.

 

What's worse than finding a worm in an apple?

 

 

 

 

Being buttraped.

 

 

 

What does 80 year old p*ssy taste like?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Depends. :thumbs:

sillyazz Enthusiast

sillyazz

Posted
Posted
If you are easily offended please leave the thread now. Like the topic says, enter at own risk.

 

:lol: I need a little help here ladies and gentlemen. A guy at work likes to crack raunchy jokes (in good fun, he is careful who he says them near) randomly to get the shock factor from people. I mean bad jokes. To give you an example he said to me today;

 

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?" "Nothing! You have already told the bitch twice !"

 

:lol:

 

So what I need from you guys/girls is some ammunition to return fire. Give me jokes, dirty, clean, raunchy, off color, etc.... The more the merrier. Hopefully we can all get a laugh out of this at the same time. :thumbs:

 

Thank you.

Fixed it for ya. Ill keep my jokes to myself dont wanna get kick off of here. :D

VMax2007 Senior Enthusiast

VMax2007

Posted
Posted

How do you know you have a severe underbite?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When you eat pu**y, it tastes like shit.

merlin5577 Senior Enthusiast

merlin5577

Posted
  • Author
Posted
If you are easily offended please leave the thread now. Like the topic says, enter at own risk.

 

:lol: I need a little help here ladies and gentlemen. A guy at work likes to crack raunchy jokes (in good fun, he is careful who he says them near) randomly to get the shock factor from people. I mean bad jokes. To give you an example he said to me today;

 

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?" "Nothing! You have already told the bitch twice !"

 

:lol:

 

So what I need from you guys/girls is some ammunition to return fire. Give me jokes, dirty, clean, raunchy, off color, etc.... The more the merrier. Hopefully we can all get a laugh out of this at the same time. :thumbs:

 

Thank you.

Fixed it for ya. Ill keep my jokes to myself dont wanna get kick off of here. :D

 

 

Thanks. If there is a problem the mods/admins will tell us. Until then feel free to post.

GMAnimal Enthusiast

GMAnimal

Posted
Posted

Mind Reading"

 

The weather was very hot, so this man wanted desperately take a dip in the nearby lake. He didn't bring his swimming outfit, but since he was all alone, he didn't care. He undressed and got into the water.

 

After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old ladies walked onto the shore in his direction. He panicked, got out of the water and grabbed a bucket, which laid on the sandy beach. He held the bucket in front of his private parts and sighed with relief.

 

The ladies got nearby and looked at him. He felt awkward and wanted to move. Then one of the ladies said, "You know, I have a special gift, I can read minds."

 

"Impossible," said the embarrassed man, "You really know what I think?"

 

"Yes," the lady replied, "I know that you think that the bucket you're holding has a bottom in it."

2000DV4.8 Senior Enthusiast

2000DV4.8

Posted
Posted

Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench, when a guy in a trenchcoat jumps out of the bushes, and flashes them.

 

The first old lady had a stroke, the second old lady had a stroke. The third one couldn't reach.

GMAnimal Enthusiast

GMAnimal

Posted
Posted

Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a machete to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"

 

To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a magnum gun and pointed it at him and said, "No you're not! You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book!"

2000DV4.8 Senior Enthusiast

2000DV4.8

Posted
Posted

Three prostitutes are sitting in a bar, bragging about who was the biggest whore. The first one says "I can fit my whole hand in my hoo-ha" The second one says "I can fit BOTH hands, in my hoo-ha".

 

The third one, who has been quiet this whole time, looks at the other two, grins slyly, and slowly slides down the bar stool.

VMax2007 Senior Enthusiast

VMax2007

Posted
Posted
Three prostitutes are sitting in a bar, bragging about who was the biggest whore. The first one says "I can fit my whole hand in my hoo-ha" The second one says "I can fit BOTH hands, in my hoo-ha".

 

The third one, who has been quiet this whole time, looks at the other two, grins slyly, and slowly slides down the bar stool.

 

 

That one reminded me of this one....

 

How do you fit 4 fags on one bar stool?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Flip it over.

merlin5577 Senior Enthusiast

merlin5577

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Three prostitutes are sitting in a bar, bragging about who was the biggest whore. The first one says "I can fit my whole hand in my hoo-ha" The second one says "I can fit BOTH hands, in my hoo-ha".

 

The third one, who has been quiet this whole time, looks at the other two, grins slyly, and slowly slides down the bar stool.

 

:thumbs:

merlin5577 Senior Enthusiast

merlin5577

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Three prostitutes are sitting in a bar, bragging about who was the biggest whore. The first one says "I can fit my whole hand in my hoo-ha" The second one says "I can fit BOTH hands, in my hoo-ha".

 

The third one, who has been quiet this whole time, looks at the other two, grins slyly, and slowly slides down the bar stool.

 

 

That one reminded me of this one....

 

How do you fit 4 fags on one bar stool?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Flip it over.

 

 

A classic! I love it! :thumbs::lol::lol:

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