Wal-mart Joke

[merlin5577]

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Bob says to Mike

behind him, 'My elbow hurts like the dickens!!

 

I guess I'd better see a doctor.'

 

 

'Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money,'

Mike replies.

 

'There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart .

 

Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's

wrong and what to do about it.

 

It takes ten seconds and costs $10 - A lot cheaper than a doctor.'

 

So, Bob deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.

 

He deposits $10, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample.

 

He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

 

10 seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

 

'You have tennis elbow.

 

Soak your arm in warm water and Epsom salts found on aisle 2.

 

Avoid heavy activity.

 

It will improve in 2 weeks.

 

Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.'

 

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new

technology was, Bob began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

 

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples

from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

 

Bob hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results.

 

He deposits $10, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

 

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard.

Get a water softener (Aisle 9)

 

2. Your dog has ringworm..

Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)

 

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit.

Get her into rehab.

 

4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours.

Get a lawyer.

 

5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

 

Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart

[Zembonez]

That'll make your day!

[mr_bots]

[BuckFeverZ]

[CHEVIN]

 

[VMax2007]

Epsom salt huh? Thanks!

 

 

 

[Z71kris]

thats a good one!

[98silvz71]

Epsom salt huh? Thanks!

 

 

 

 

 

What the hell doesn't that stuff cure?

[MarkD]

LOL! ROFLMAO!

 

Explanation if you need it...

[Scherer22K]

[rvsahs]

Epsom salt huh? Thanks!

 

 

 

 

 

What the hell doesn't that stuff cure?

!!

[ALange]

Unfortunately, as I have gotten a little older, I have become a little

less sensitive. So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a

good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day......

 

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive,

mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling

obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As I had been

instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart.

Nice children you have there, are they twins?'

 

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no, they ain't

twins.. The oldest one's 9, and the youngest one's 7. Why the hell

would

you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'

 

So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor stupid Ma'am, I just

couldn't

believe you got laid twice. Have a nice day and thank you for shopping

at Wal-Mart.'

 

My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.

[rvsahs]

Unfortunately, as I have gotten a little older, I have become a little

less sensitive. So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a

good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day......

 

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive,

mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling

obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As I had been

instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart.

Nice children you have there, are they twins?'

 

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no, they ain't

twins.. The oldest one's 9, and the youngest one's 7. Why the hell

would

you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'

 

So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor stupid Ma'am, I just

couldn't

believe you got laid twice. Have a nice day and thank you for shopping

at Wal-Mart.'

My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.

+1 !! Well played, Art!

[Draenor]

Unfortunately, as I have gotten a little older, I have become a little

less sensitive. So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a

good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day......

 

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive,

mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling

obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As I had been

instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart.

Nice children you have there, are they twins?'

 

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no, they ain't

twins.. The oldest one's 9, and the youngest one's 7. Why the hell

would

you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'

 

So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor stupid Ma'am, I just

couldn't

believe you got laid twice. Have a nice day and thank you for shopping

at Wal-Mart.'

 

My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.

[VMax2007]

Unfortunately, as I have gotten a little older, I have become a little

less sensitive. So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a

good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day......

 

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive,

mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling

obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As I had been

instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart.

Nice children you have there, are they twins?'

 

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no, they ain't

twins.. The oldest one's 9, and the youngest one's 7. Why the hell

would

you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'

 

So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor stupid Ma'am, I just

couldn't

believe you got laid twice. Have a nice day and thank you for shopping

at Wal-Mart.'

My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.

+1 !! Well played, Art!

 

 

Roger, you do realize this was just a story and Art really didn't do this, right?