new phrase

[bassdog]

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the firm have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with other employees. Due to complaints received from some employees who are more easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

None the less, we do realize the critical importance of individuals being able

to properly express their feelings when communicating with fellow employees. Therefore, a list of code phrase replacements has been compiled so proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive co-workers.

 OLD PHRASE                       NEW PHRASE

 -------------------                     --------------------

 

No ####ing way!                     I'm certain that's not feasible.

 

You've got to be ####ting me!   Really?

 

Tell someone who gives a ####!       Perhaps you should check

                                                with...

Ask me if I give a ####!                  Of course I'mconcerned.

 

It's not my ####ing problem!    I wasn't involved with that

                                          project

What the ####?                 Interesting.

 

#### it, it won't work!         I'm not sure I can implement this.

 

Why the #### didn't you tell             I'll try to schedule that.

me that sooner?

 

When the #### do you expect          Perhaps I can work late.

me to do this?

 

Who the #### cares?               Are you sure this is a problem?

 

He's got his head up his ass!            He's not familiar with the

                                                  problem.

Eat ####!                       You don't say?

 

Eat #### and die!               Excuse me?

 

Eat #### and die mother####er!   Excuse me, sir?

 

What the #### do they want      They weren't happy with it?

from my life?

 

Kiss my ass!                        So you'd like my help with it?

 

#### it, I'm on salary!              I don't think you understand.

 

Shove it up your ass!           I love a challenge.

 

Who the #### died and made      You want me to take care of

you the boss?                           this?

 

Blow me!                       I see.

 

Blow yourself!                   Do you see?

 

Another ####ing meeting?     Yes, we really should discuss this.

 

I really don't give a ####!     I don't think it will be a problem.

 

He's a ####ing prick!                    He's somewhat insensitive.

 

She's a ball-breaking bitch!       She's an aggressive go-getter.

 

You don't know what the                   I think you could use

#### you're doing!                             more training.

 

This place is all ####ed up!             We're a little disorganized.