personal ad definintions

[bassdog]

CODE WORD................MEANS

 

40-ish...................48

 

Adventurer...............Has had more partners than you ever will

 

Affectionate.............Possessive

 

Artist...................Unreliable

 

Beautiful................Pathological liar

 

Commitment-minded........Pick out curtains, now!

 

Communication-important..Just try to get a word in edgewise

 

Contagious Smile.........Bring your penicillin

 

Educated.................College dropout

 

Emotionally Secure.......Medicated

 

Employed.................Has part-time job stuffing envelopes at home

 

Enjoys art and opera.....Snob

 

Enjoys Nature............Bring your own granola

 

Feminist.................A Ball buster

 

Financially Secure.......One paycheck from the street

 

Free spirit..............Substance abuser

 

Friendship first ........Trying to live down reputation as slut

 

Fun......................Annoying

 

Gentle...................Comatose

 

Good Listener............Hard to pull a word from her

 

Humorous.................Caustic

 

Intuitive................Your opinion doesn't count

 

In Transition............Needs new sugar-daddy to pay the bills

 

Light drinker............Lush

 

Looks younger............If viewed from far away in bad light

 

Loves Travel.............If you're paying

 

Loves Animals............Cat lady

 

New-Age..................All body hair, all the time

 

Non-traditional..........Ex-husband lives in the basement

 

Old-fashioned............Lights out, missionary position only

 

Open-minded..............Desperate

 

Outgoing.................Loud

 

Professional.............Bitchy

 

Reliable.................Frumpy

 

Romantic.................Looks better by candle light

 

Self-employed............Jobless

 

Special..................Rode the small schoolbus w/ tinted windows

 

Spiritual................Involved with a cult

 

Stable...................Boring

 

Tan......................Wrinkled

 

Wants Soulmate...........One step away from stalking

 

Widow....................Nagged first husband to death

 

Redhead..................Used Clairol