Joke-40 Things Never Said By Southerners

Zane · July 7, 2002

40 Things Never Said By Southerners:

40. Oh I just couldn't. ####, she's only sixteen.

39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

38. Duct tape won't fix that.

37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.

36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.

35. We don't keep firearms in this house.

34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?

33. You can't feed that to the dog.

32. I thought Graceland was tacky.

31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.

30. Wrasslin's fake.

29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?

28. We're vegetarians.

27. Do you think my gut is too big?

26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.

25. Honey, we don't need another dog.

24. Who's Richard Petty?

23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.

20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.

19. Trim the fat off that steak.

18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

17. The tires on that truck are too big.

16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.

15. I've got it all on the C drive.

14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?

12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.

09. Checkmate.

08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.

07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?

06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

05. I don't have a favorite college team.

04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.

03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.

02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.

01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight

gandolphxx · July 7, 2002

HA, HA, mostly true, but keep in mind that us transplanted yankees can remember a lot of small towns in New England, particularly New Hampshire and Maine that those sayings could be just as true.

well maybe not the iced tea

Jpshostr · July 7, 2002

What a sad state of affairs when even the administrator of this site can't place his topics in the correct forum. ;)

chevy4x4trucks · July 7, 2002

What a sad state of affairs when even the administrator of this site can't place his topics in the correct forum. ;)

LMAO, good one JP

Zane · July 7, 2002

What a sad state of affairs when even the administrator of this site can't place his topics in the correct forum. ;)

Dang-it, you got me!! :but:

General Lee 01 · July 8, 2002

Time for us Southerners to strike back.

the 41st thing never said by southerners:

Man, them Northern guys are some good fellas, let's hang out together!

Top 10 things you'll never here a Northerner say.

10. Screw credit cards, From now on, I'm paying with cash!

9. What do you mean you're out of Okra?!

8. "Finger-lickin' Good!"

7. Who the #### needs leather seats anyways?!

6. I think I'll leave the windows down and let the air breeze through my hair.

5. Ok, you win this time. Congratulations

4. What the ####'s a "Master-Card"

3. Screw Hotels, let's "rough-it" this weekend!

2. Anybody up for some barbeque?

Andthe#1 thing never heard by northerners....

I DO

SilveradoWV · July 8, 2002

Nice comeback! That describes em pretty well!!!

MarkD · July 8, 2002

I liked both of them actually.

Especially

39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

and

5. Ok, you win this time. Congratulations

MountaineerTom · July 8, 2002

14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

You mean to tell me there is another way to fix tea other than sweet?! ;)

SilveradoWV · July 8, 2002

14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

You mean to tell me there is another way to fix tea other than sweet?! ;)

There is one company that has the right Idea! It might be lipton. Anyway they have a "Southern Style" Tea that is extra sweet!!!! I never did see a "Northern Style" So :baa: