T-Shirt Sayings

Batgirl · August 20, 2003

I thought these were funny so I'm sharing with you guys. These sayings were sent into the Washington Post. Some of them are a bit lame but most of them are worth a chuckle...

The Joy of Sex

*I Need Somebody Bad. Are You Somebody Bad?

*At My Age, Getting Lucky Is Finding My Car in the Parking Lot

*Remember When Sex Was Safe and Skydiving Was Dangerous?

The Battle of the Sexes

*Men Are Like Grapes. If You Stomp on Them and Keep Them in the Dark Long Enough, They Might Turn Into Something That You Would Take to Dinner

*My Wife Comes With Instructions -- Lots of Instructions

*He Rules the Roost -- But I Rule the Rooster

*(On the front) Randolph-Macon Woman's College (On the back) Not a Girls' School with No Men, but a Women's College with No Boys

*Never Go to Bed Mad. Stay Up and Fight

Parenting Pearls of Wisdom

*I Childproofed My House, But They Still Get In!

*We Got Rid of the Kids -- The Cat Was Allergic

*Got Pickles? (on a maternity shirt)

*Don't Worry, Mom -- It's Just a Phase

*You Spend the First Two Years of Their Lives Teaching Them to Walk and Talk -- and the Next 16 Telling Them to Sit Down and Shut Up

The Joy of Aging

*(On the front) 60 Is Not Old . . . (On the back) If You're a Tree

*I'm Still Hot -- It Just Comes in Flashes

*I'm Not 50 -- I'm $49.95 Plus Tax

*I Know I Came Into This Room for a Reason

*Fifty Is the Ultimate F-Word

*Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up

Feeling Stressed?

*I Used to Have a Handle on Life, But It Broke

*Out of My Mind. Back in Five Minutes

*My Reality Check Just Bounced

*Cancel My Subscription -- I Don't Need Your Issues

*Dangerously Under-Medicated

*Madness Takes Its Toll -- Please Have Exact Change

No Pain, No Gain

*Every Time I Hear the Dirty Word 'Exercise' I Wash My Mouth Out With Chocolate

*Physically Pffffft!

It's One of Those Days

*Some Days You're the Pigeon, Some Days You're the Statue

*Earth Is the Insane Asylum for the Universe

*Life Is Short -- Make Fun of It

Travel Fun

*Buckle Up. It Makes It Harder for the Aliens to Snatch You From Your Car

*Hang Up and Drive

*I Took the Road Less Traveled, and Now Where the Heck Am I?

*Welcome to Tennessee -- Set Your Watch Back 20 Years

Good Advice

*Use Vowels Every Day or You'll Get Consonated

*Don't Hate Yourself in the Morning -- Sleep Till Noon

Ego-Boosters

*I'm Not a Snob. I'm Just Better Than You Are

*Live Your Life So That When You Die, the Preacher Will Not Have to Tell Lies at Your Funeral

*If You Think Nobody Cares, Try Missing a Couple of Payments

Pets Rule

*It's My Dog's World. I'm Just Here to Open Cans

*Cats Regard People As Warm-Blooded Furniture

*A Dog's Parents Never Visit

What's Your IQ?

*Suppose You Were an Idiot...And Suppose You Were a Member of Congress...But I Repeat Myself

*My Mind Works Like Lightning -- One Brilliant Flash and It's Gone

*God Must Love Stupid People -- He Made So Many

*I Have a Short Attention...

Making It Big In This World

*I'm Destined for Greatness -- I'm Just Pacing Myself

*I Was God's Gift to Women, But I Have Been Rewrapped and Placed on a Closet Shelf

*I've Gone to Find Myself. If I Get Back Before I've Found Me, Please Keep Me Here

Bless Me, Father

*Protons Have Mass! And I Didn't Even Know They Were Catholic

*Heck Is Where People Go Who Don't Believe in Gosh

Retirement

*Retirement -- Twice as Much Husband for Half as Much Money

*Before You Can Be Old and Wise, You Must First Be Young and Stupid

*Retired -- I Was Tired Yesterday and I'm Tired Again Today

*My Back Goes Out More Than I Do

*Retired -- Know It All and Got Plenty of Time to Tell You About It

LarryE · August 20, 2003

I like

"Hold my Hammer, while I nail your girlfriend"

ugeesta · August 20, 2003

How about..

"My wife & I have a lot of oral sex. We talk about it all the time."

greyghost03 · August 20, 2003

Good ones Batgirl!

The Beav · August 20, 2003

My favorites are the Harley shirts: If you can read this, my Bitch fell off!

frdfandc · August 20, 2003

My favorite shirt is a Calvin shirt that says

"Everyday of my life I'm forced to add someone's name to the list of people who piss me off"

And I saw this one on a bumper sticker

"I miss my wife...........but my aim is improving."

General Lee 01 · August 20, 2003

My favorite shirt is this one tha has some creature that lookslike Marvin the Martian dressed upin "Punk"clothes, holding "The Ugly Stick", Saying "It looks like you've had enough.".

doverarjim · August 20, 2003

My two new favorites at least for this week are:

I'd slap you but sh*t splatters!!!

and

Your protcologists (sp) called he found you head!!!

Batgirl · August 21, 2003

I saw one today...

If I got smart with you..how would you know?

I thought that was funny.

Wingnut · August 21, 2003

I always liked the one that says on the back:

"I'm a bomb technician, if you see me running, try and keep up."

Thanks Batgirl

R Dogg 56 · August 23, 2003

cowboy02 · August 25, 2003

My favorite shirt is a Calvin shirt that says

"Everyday of my life I'm forced to add someone's name to the list of people who piss me off"

And I saw this one on a bumper sticker

"I miss my wife...........but my aim is improving."

I like this one also....... But doesn't that figure....