Somali Pirates In Discussions To Acquire Citigroup

[superjim]

Somali Pirates in Discussions to Acquire Citigroup

By Andreas Hippin

 

November 22 – The Somali pirates, renegade Somalis known for hijacking ships for ransom in the Gulf of Aden, are negotiating a purchase of Citigroup.

 

The pirates would buy Citigroup with new debt and their existing cash stockpiles, earned most recently from hijacking numerous ships, including most recently a $200 million Saudi Arabian oil tanker. The Somali pirates are offering up to $0.10 per share for Citigroup, pirate spokesman Sugule Ali said earlier today. The negotiations have entered the final stage, Ali said.

 

"You may not like our price, but we are not in the business of paying for things. Be happy we are in the mood to offer the shareholders anything," said Ali.

 

The pirates will finance part of the purchase by selling new Pirate Ransom Backed Securities. The PRBS's are backed by the cash flows from future ransom payments from hijackings in the Gulf of Aden. Moody's and S&P have already issued their top investment grade ratings for the PRBS's.

 

Head pirate, Ubu Kalid Shandu, said: "We need a bank so that we have a place to keep all of our ransom money. Thankfully, the dislocations in the capital markets has allowed us to purchase Citigroup at an attractive valuation and to take advantage of TARP capital to grow the business even faster."

 

Shandu added, "We don't call ourselves pirates. We are coastguards, and this will just allow us to guard our coasts better."

[97SierraGMC]

you have got to be shitting me....

[tobias]

you have got to be shitting me....

 

In fact, yes, he is.

[GARB55]

you have got to be shitting me....

 

In fact, yes, he is.

 

 

[alaska511]

you have got to be shitting me....

 

In fact, yes, he is.

 

 

 

[D&SYukonDenali]

you have got to be shitting me....

 

In fact, yes, he is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[rvsahs]

you have got to be shitting me....

C'mon Riggs, don't be such a !!!

[ZZ327]

HAHA, But for real being a pirate looks like a good business these days. They hirin?

[97SierraGMC]

after reading it i typed it into google news and found out...

[P'cola Denali]

We should be pirates.

 

Make a lot of money.

[ALange]

We should be pirates.

 

Make a lot of money.

 

Forced redistribution of wealth. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm sounds like a famous US political party only perhaps the pirates are a bit more honest about their intention.

[tobias]

[95Sierra2500]

I laughed.

 

In all seriousness though, these Somali pirates are living proof as to which is better, Ninjas or Pirates. Pirates are still around.

[bigbengalbubba]

I laughed.

 

In all seriousness though, these Somali pirates are living proof as to which is better, Ninjas or Pirates. Pirates are still around.

 

Ninjas are still around, you just can't see them!

 

They could be anywhere.........

[ALange]

I laughed.

 

In all seriousness though, these Somali pirates are living proof as to which is better, Ninjas or Pirates. Pirates are still around.

 

Ninjas are still around, you just can't see them!

 

They could be anywhere.........

 

 

Pirates get cooler clothes and can fish during their down time.