The Buffalo Theory

[lauriet1]

One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. And here's how it went:

 

"Well ya see Norm, it's like this...A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members."

 

"In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.  In this way, regular consumption of alcohol eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few drinks."

[City_Slicker]

[MarkD]

Sounds like the Irish addage.

 

Yeah, drinkin' kills brain cells...but only the weak ones. :thumb:

[Guest Friz]

I'll drink to that

[City_Slicker]

More beer quotes:

 

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink

I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think

about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes

and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams

come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

Jack Handy

 

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake

up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to

feel all day."

Frank Sinatra

 

"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to

spend time with his fools."

Ernest Hemingway

 

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

Henny Youngman

 

"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

I think not."

Stephen Wright

 

"When we drink, we get drunk.

When we get drunk, we fall asleep.

When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.

When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.

Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"

Brian O'Rourke

 

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

Benjamin Franklin

 

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history

of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was

also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as

well with pizza. "

Dave Barry

 

BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!!!

"Unknown"

 

Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.

 

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group.

Salvation in a can!