political correctness

[elboberino]

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

 

1 She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

 

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

 

3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

 

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

 

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

 

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

 

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."

 

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

 

9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

 

10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

 

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS"- She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."

 

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

 

 

 

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

 

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

 

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

 

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

 

4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

 

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."

 

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."

 

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL A$$"- He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

 

8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

 

9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

 

10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

 

11. it ís not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants -It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."