The South will rise again.

[gandolphxx]

I'm sure this is bound to offend someone.....

 

> SOUTHERNISMS

 

Did you hear about the South Carolina redneck who

passed away and left his

entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?

She can't touch it till she's fourteen.

 

> > > > --------------------------------------------------------

What's the difference between a good ol' boy and a

redneck?

 

The good ol' boy raises livestock.

The redneck gets emotionally involved.

 

> > > > --------------------------------------------------------

Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911

operator told Bubba that

she would send someone out right away. "Where do you

live?" asked the

operator.

 

Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive." The

operator asked, "Can you

spell that for me? "There was a long pause and

finally Bubba said, "How 'bout

if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up

there?"

 

> > > > > -------------------------------------------------

How do you know when your staying in a Kentucky

hotel?

When you call the front desk and say "I've gotta

leak in my sink" and the

person at the front desk says "go ahead."

 

> > > > > --------------------------------------------------

How can you tell if a Texas redneck is married?

 

There is dried chewing tobacco on both sides of his

pickup truck.

 

> > > > > -------------------------------------------------

Did you hear that they have raised the minimum

drinking age in Tennessee to

32?

It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high

schools!

 

> > > > > --------------------------------------------------

What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in

Mississippi?

A documentary.

 

> > > > > --------------------------------------------------

How many rednecks does it take eat a 'possum?

Two. One to eat, and one to watch out for traffic.

 

> > > > > --------------------------------------------------

Why did God invent armadillos?

So that Texas rednecks can have 'possum on the

halfshell.

 

> > > > > --------------------------------------------------

Where was the toothbrush invented?

Oklahoma. If it was invented anywhere else it would

have been called a

teethbrush.

> > > > > --------------------------------------------------

Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on

I-40. He says to the

driver, "Got any ID?"

The driver says, "Bout what?"

 

> > > > > -------------------------------------------------

Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State

Lottery?

The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.

 

> > > > > --------------------------------------------------

Why did O. J. Simpson want to move to West Virginia?

 

> > > > > Everyone has the same DNA.

 

> > > > > --------------------------------------------------

Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Little

Rock, Arkansas burned

down?

Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.

 

> > > > > --------------------------------------------------

A new law recently passed in North Carolina:

When a couple gets divorced, they're still brother

and sister.

 

> > > > > --------------------------------------------------

Two Mississippians are walking down different ends

of a street toward each

other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet,

one says,"Hey Tommy

Ray,what'cha got in th' bag?"

"Jus' some chickens."

"If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?"

"Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of

them."

"OK. Ummmmm . . . five?"

 

> > > > > --------------------------------------------------

What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas,

and a hurricane in Florida

have in common?

Somebody's fixin' to lose them a trailer.

 

> > > > > --------------------------------------------------

A Mississippian came home and found his house on

fire, he rushed next door,

telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry

over here. My house is on

fire!"

"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"

"Shucks, don't you still have those big red trucks?"

 

> > > > > --------------------------------------------------

Why do folks in Kentucky go to the movie theater in

groups of 18 or more?

Cuz 17 and under not admitted.

 

> > > > > ----------------------------------

What do you get when you have 32 rednecks in the

same room?

A full set of teeth.

[DigUout]

Excellent!  Eucalyptus drive!!  LMAO!!