A Day with a Deer Hunter

[MarkD]

"A DAY WITH A DEER HUNTER"

 

1:00 am - Alarm clock rings.

2:00 am - Hunting partner arrives, drags you out of bed.

3:00 am - Throw everything except kitchen sink in pickup.

3:05 am - Leave for the deep woods.

3:15 am - Drive back home and pick up gun.

3:30 am - Drive like crazy to get to woods before daylight.

4:00 am - Set up camp, forgot tent.

4:30 am - Head into woods.

6:05 am - See eight deer.

6:06 am - Take aim and squeeze trigger.

6:07 am - "Click".

6:08 am - Load gun while watching deer go over hill.

8:00 am - Head back to camp.

9:00 am - Still looking for camp.

10:00 am - Realize you don't know where camp is.

Noon - Fire gun for help. Eat wild berries.

12:15 pm - Ran out of bullets, eight deer come back.

12:20 pm - Strange feeling in stomach.

12:30 pm - Realize you ate poison berries.

12:45 pm - Rescued.

12:55 pm - Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped.

3:00 pm - Arrived back in camp.

3:30 pm - Leave camp to kill deer.

4:00 pm - Return to camp for bullets.

4:01 pm - Load gun, leave camp again.

5:00 pm - Empty gun on squirrel that's bugging you.

6:00 pm - Arrive at camp, see deer grazing in camp.

6:01 pm - Load gun.

6:02 pm - Fire gun.

6:03 pm - One dead pickup truck.

6:05 pm - Hunting partner returns to camp dragging deer.

6:06 pm - Repress strong desire to shoot partner.

6:07 pm - Fall into fire.

6:10 pm - Change clothes, throw burned ones into fire.

6:15 pm - Take pickup, leave partner and his deer in woods.

6:25 pm - Pickup boils over, hole shot in radiator.

6:26 pm - Start walking.

6:30 pm - Stumble and fall, drop gun in mud.

6:35 pm - Meet bear.

6:36 pm - Take aim.

6:37 pm - Fire gun, blow up barrel plugged with mud.

6:38 pm - Have accident in pants.

6:39 pm - Climb tree.

9:00 pm - Bear departs, wrap gun around tree.

Midnight - Home at last!

[City_Slicker]

Was you following me this year?