Jump to content

Hallmark "prototypes"

General Lee 01

By General Lee 01
in The Off-Topic Bar

Recommended Posts

General Lee 01 Senior Enthusiast

General Lee 01

Posted
Posted

Our Engineers have been hard at work... :(

 

1. So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. Look at the bright side, it's really good pay.

 

2. My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat.

When I looked at the tire... I noticed your cat.

Sorry!

 

3. You had your bladder removed and you're on the mend.

Here's a bouquet of flowers ... and a box of Depends.

 

4. Heard your wife left you, how upset you must be.

But don't fret about it... She moved in with me.

 

5. Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help butwonder .. What the hell was I thinking!

 

6. Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your husband.

 

7. How could two people as beautiful as you... Have such an ugly baby?

 

8. I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you .... I've changed my mind.

 

9. I must admit, you brought Religion into my life....

I never believed in Hell till I met you.

 

10. As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

that you're not here to ruin it for me.

 

11. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go ... would you like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again.

 

12. Someday I hope to get married ... but not to you.

 

13. Happy birthday! You look great for your age...

Almost Lifelike!

 

14. When we were together you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.

 

15. We have been friends for a very long time ..... I say we stop!

 

16. I'm so miserable without you .... it's almost like you're here.

 

17. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was?

 

18. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday. So we're having you put to sleep.

 

19. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky, and West Virginia)

Greg Senior Enthusiast

Greg

Posted
Posted

For my wife's 49th birthday a few weeks ago, I bought her a cute 50th birthday card and wrote "-1" on it. Somehow, she didn't see the humor in that.

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • Latest Articles

  • Posts

    • ryan35205
      Lets Talk Z60 Suspension

      By ryan35205 · Posted

      Did the KYBs keep it the same height in the front? I was concerned that pre-assembled assembly would raise it up an inch to standard non-z60 height.. I guess which it would make the rake 1 inch instead of 2 inches.
    • Grumpy Bear
      OCI, not when but why?

      By Grumpy Bear · Posted

      Thank you for keeping the train on the tracks and for a thoughtful engagement. I enjoyed the reflection on a previous stance to refine and improve your position. I like that inquisitive flexibility about you Atlas.    No the process isn't sterile. Hundreds, perhaps thousands of miles of piping, vessels, pumps. Chevron, the people I worked for, were keenly aware that there is a market for what is known as their "ISOCLEAN" line of lubricants. These are lubricants that are the same as those sold bulk that are further processed by filtration to a level your particular application demands. They will filter and package and provide lab documentation as required. Do not kid yourself. Every gallon of oil that goes into a Chevron Turbine, reciprocating compressor, generator is prefiltered and tested before being charged. Lest wise it was when I was there in the plants I worked in.    There are requirements set by manufactures for the cleanliness of the oils used in their equipment. OTR such as CUMMINS has standards shared with customers on this. Commercial interest selling to Ma and Pa do, but don't share that information. Not even upon request but internally, they do exist.    The GM study sited, (Graph from Machinery Lubrication in previous post) only shows "relative" importance.  I find that fascinating. By constructing the graph like this they admit there are dozens of factors in engine life and via scientific method determined the effect of 'relative cleanliness' on engine life not in miles but in 'FACTORS'. This allows a certain amount of reverse engineering does it not?   They even provided some touchstones. Beta 75 as a reference point. Wonderful stuff!!   Smaller blenders CAN and some DO take the time and effort to do better than a refinery or large bulk blender, like Warren Oil, in improving the "in the can" cleanliness. No I don't have a list but testing could generate that information.    Again, but one of several levers we can pull to improve engine life. The simplest is keeping a clean work station while doing your own oil changes.     
    • Mykel544
      New Guy from Oklahoma

      By Mykel544 · Posted

      Thank you. I'll give it a try 
    • Grumpy Bear
      OCI, not when but why?

      By Grumpy Bear · Posted

      I just spent the last 45K miles doing samples every oil change over more than a full year to get the data for seasons and break-in to broke in.    I found the same thing to be true. Something was always teetering on done or had stepped off the cliff long before the OLM was DOA. In fact, I found about a thousand mile difference between summer and winter. That is during the winter half the OLM was STILL too long. Even the severe schedule was to long in the winter.   Now having done the work I can say I was NOT DISAPOINTED. I saw nothing I didn't already know. Nothing my father hadn't already demonstrated in his 2K OCI's pushing dated iron on dated oils and weak filters to mileages well beyond 300K.   Building on his work through use of Lab testing it wasn't hard to find the correlation between 'sight/feel/odor, the things dad relied on, and test results. Use of current viscosity stable chemistries & filters has pushed that marker for my motors out to 3K summer, 4K winter.    So the early lies were 3K on conventional oil and the lie upon the lie was 7K+. turns out to be off by a factor of two.    So... it is true that modern chemistry has doubled the useful oil life. But the base milage that came from was off by double. It's how good lies work. Partly true, sometimes mostly true so that your meter isn't set off. It also means that non-shear-stable shelf oils are only now as good as the old oils were in their best case scenario.    So the question now is how do we improve on that? Thus the question into cleanliness among the other items listed in the post quoted below.    If this bores you, feel free not to participate.       
    • newdude
      2027 Chevrolet Silverado: Official Discussion

      By newdude · Posted

      Is it though?  Like LTZ, not a high take rate.  Current Sierra has AT4, Denali and Elevation as its main bread winners.  Each trim accounting for 25-35% of sales for Sierra.  SLT makes up about 10-15% at best.        Like others have predicted here for GMC, it will be:   - Pro (equal to WT Chevy)   - Elevation (replaces SLE and SLT)   - AT4 (and X)   - Denali (and Ultimate).  

  • GM-Trucks.com Clubs

  • Popular Contributors

×
×
  • Create New...