Favorite Johnny Carson joke or funny moment

colosilverado · January 26, 2005

Well this isn't really a "joke" per se, but...

It is from Carnac The Magnificent:

A: Hickory Dickory Dock.

Q: Who do you go to when you have a pain in your hickory dickory?

colosilverado · January 26, 2005

Well this isn't really a "joke" per se, but...

It is from Carnac The Magnificent:

A: Hickory Dickory Dock.

Q: Who do you go to when you have a pain in your hickory dickory?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

..and I always liked another Carnac Q&A:

A: Sis Boom Bah

Q. What is the sound of a sheep exploding?

colosilverado · January 26, 2005

Well this isn't really a "joke" per se, but...

It is from Carnac The Magnificent:

A: Hickory Dickory Dock.

Q: Who do you go to when you have a pain in your hickory dickory?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

..and I always liked another Carnac Q&A:

A: Sis Boom Bah

Q. What is the sound of a sheep exploding?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

....and another:

A: Oxnard

Q: What is the least appetizing part of an Ox?

colosilverado · January 26, 2005

Well this isn't really a "joke" per se, but...

It is from Carnac The Magnificent:

A: Hickory Dickory Dock.

Q: Who do you go to when you have a pain in your hickory dickory?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

..and I always liked another Carnac Q&A:

A: Sis Boom Bah

Q. What is the sound of a sheep exploding?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

....and another:

A: Oxnard

Q: What is the least appetizing part of an Ox?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

...and finally:

A. The winners

Q: Who are the Dodgers playing tonight?

tmf6902 · January 26, 2005

Carson retired before my bed time was late, but I've seen the best of tapes. I'd have to say when that Monkey punched him in the face, makes me die laughing everytime.....he was always great when they had animals

R Dogg 56 · January 26, 2005

This was wayyyy before my time, but I've seen the commercial for the Best of the Tonight Show w/ Johnny Carson, and the segment that I remember from it was the one where Ed Ames was trying to show Johnny how to throw an axe at a cowboy that was painted on a large piece of wood. When Ames threw the axe, he ended up hitting the "cowboy" right in the crotch. If memory serves, it was the longest recorded laughter from a studio audience ever on film or tape. The quote from Johnny to a laughing and presumably embarrased Ames was priceless to say the least:

"I didn't know you were Jewish!"

kjjz28 · January 26, 2005

My favorite show that comes to mind (and Johnny had nothing to do with it other than being the host) has got to be back in the early 80s when Eddie Murphy was just starting out. Johnny had just inteviewed Eddie and he was sitting in the next chair. Johnny had an attractive busty blonde on the show and of course, he made a reference that "certainly, those things have gotten you into some doors or a promotion or something". She says, "well, what I've found out is that once I've gotten in the door, there's just a room full of other big busted blondes there".

Right off the cuff, Eddie says, "Where's this door at?" Johnny about falls out of his chair laughing so hard.

99silveradoz71 · January 27, 2005

Some classics here, no doubt

colosilverado · January 27, 2005

Okay....one more...for now.

Answer: Persnickety

Question: How do you get paid when picking snicketys?

That Eddie Murphy part is funny, too! The hatchet thing...that is just a one in a million type of deal. That was soooooooo funny and unlikely!

I agree with David Letterman and Jay Leno.....there will never be another like him. David is great and Jay is a nice guy and funny too....but Johnny was better than both combined. He was the nice guy that Jay Leno really appears to be and creative like David Letterman. I just can't see him being topped. If he is topped, that will be great in alot of ways. Letterman may eventually equal him.

Wingnut · January 27, 2005

I remember the time he did his entire monologue with his fly down.

Every time his hand went in his pockets (he did it constantly) his fly did this ().

My dad and I were

OnBelay · January 28, 2005

Well this isn't really a "joke" per se, but...

It is from Carnac The Magnificent:

A: Hickory Dickory Dock.

Q: Who do you go to when you have a pain in your hickory dickory?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

..and I always liked another Carnac Q&A:

A: Sis Boom Bah

Q. What is the sound of a sheep exploding?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

....and another:

A: Oxnard

Q: What is the least appetizing part of an Ox?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

...and finally:

A. The winners

Q: Who are the Dodgers playing tonight?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Not quite finally:

A. Ben Gay

Q. Why didn't the Franklins have any children?

General Lee 01 · February 5, 2005

He was before my time as well, but my favorite memory of him (from what all I've seen in his reruns and "best of" shows) was the time he had the potato chip lady on.

Bluesman123 · February 7, 2005

Another Carnac!

A. Yassar Arafat

Q. What is the sound when Dolly Parton takes off her bra?

For 30 years after hearing this joke, I'd have to really try not to laugh at the Palestinian/Israeli news.

roden001 · February 25, 2005

I can't believe no one has mentioned the time that Zsa Zsa was on with her pussycat.

She strokes the cat and says, "Do you want to pet my ****?"

Johnny replies, "Sure, but you'll have to move that d**n cat!"

(pretty sure it was Zsa Zsa---could be wrong about that part)

bummed-n-Md · February 28, 2005

I can't believe no one has mentioned the time that Zsa Zsa was on with her pussycat.

She strokes the cat and says, "Do you want to pet my ****?"

Johnny replies, "Sure, but you'll have to move that d**n cat!"

(pretty sure it was Zsa Zsa---could be wrong about that part)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

When I heard it , it was Rachel Welch...

I believe this one is actually an urban legand just like the following. (althought they both bsound like something he would say, he was a very quick wit).

One night before a big gold tournement, Johnny was hosting Arnold Palmers wife on the show. He asked if she did anything special before a match to wish him luck.

She relied " I kiss his balls before each round"

Johnny replied: I bet that makes his putter stand on end"