9 - 1 - 1

[Scyry]

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

 

Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.

 

Dispatcher: Do you have an address?

 

Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse and slacks, why?

 

 

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

 

Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.

 

Dispatcher: Excuse me?

 

Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.

 

Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?

 

Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it.

 

 

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

 

Caller: Hi, is this the Police?

 

Dispatcher: This is 9-1-1. Do you need police assistance?

 

Caller: Well, I don't know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I've never cooked one before.

 

 

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Fire or emergency?

 

Caller: Fire, I guess.

 

Dispatcher: How can I help you sir?

 

Caller: I was wondering.....does the Fire Dept. put snow chains on their trucks?

 

Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency?

 

Caller: Well, I've spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my tires and... well.. do you think the Fire Dept. could come over and help me?

 

Dispatcher: Help you what?

 

Caller: Help me get these chains on my car!

 

 

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?

 

Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.

 

Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.

 

Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one

 

Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.

 

Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

 

 

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?

 

Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart

 

Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

 

Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

 

 

And the winner is..........

 

Dispatcher: 9-1-1

 

Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.

 

Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?

 

Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.

 

Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?

 

Caller: No

 

Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?

 

Caller: Running from the Police.

[MS3DALE]

[90Gmc]

The best one is the pregnant one