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Spoonman

By Spoonman
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Spoonman

Posted
Posted

First one......

Some smart pilots.

 

 

 

Presidential candidates, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and John Edwards were flying to a convention.

 

 

 

Barack looked at Hillary, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy."

 

 

 

Hillary shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy."

 

 

 

John added, "That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy."

 

 

Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot,

 

 

 

"Such big-shots back there. I could throw all of them out of the window and make 156 million people very happy."

 

 

 

Second one.....

 

A Book Report

 

 

 

Students were assigned to read two books, "Titanic" and "My Life",

 

by Bill Clinton.

 

 

 

One smart-ass student turned in the following book report, with the

 

proposition that they were nearly identical stories. His professor

 

had a sense of humor and gave the student an A+ for his report:

 

 

 

Titanic: $29.99

 

Clinton
: $29.99

 

 

 

Titanic: Over three hours to read

 

Clinton
: Over three hours to read

 

 

 

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent

 

catastrophe.

 

Clinton
:Â The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent

 

catastrophe.

 

 

 

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.

 

Clinton
: Bill is a bulls**t artist.

 

 

 

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.

 

Clinton
: Ditto for Bill.

 

 

 

Titanic: D uring ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.

 

Clinton
: Ditto for Monica.

 

 

 

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.

 

Clinton
: Let's not go there. < BR>

 

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.

 

Clinton
: Monica is forced to return her gifts.

 

 

 

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.

 

Clinton
:
Clinton
doesn' t remember jack.

 

 

 

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.

 

Clinton
: Monica... oh, let's not go there either.

 

 

 

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.

 

Clinton
: Bill goes home to Hillary... basically the same thing.

 

 

 

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