Seminars

[bassdog]

SEMINARS FOR MEN & WOMEN  

 

 

 

 

 

SEMINARS FOR MEN

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The female staff will be offering courses listed below to men of any marital status.

Class size will be limited to 18 as material may prove to be difficult.

 

1. Combating Stupidity

2. You Too Can Do Housework

3. P.M.S. - Learning When To Keep Your Mouth Shut

4. How To Fill An Ice Cube Tray

5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas - Give Us Money

6. Understanding the Female Response To You Coming In Drunk At 4 AM

7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (Formerly Called "Don't Wash My Silks")

8. Parenting - No, It Doesn't End With Conception

9. Get a Life - Learn How To Cook

10. How Not To Act Like a Butthead When You Are Obviously Wrong

11. Spelling - Even You Can Get It Right

12. Understanding Your Financial Incompetence

13. You - The Weaker Sex

14. Reasons To Give Flowers

15. How To Stay Awake After Sex

16. Why It Is Unacceptable To Relieve Yourself Anywhere But the Bathroom

17. Garbage - Getting It To the Curb

18. SEX 118A - You Can Fall Asleep Without It If You Really Try

19. SEX 118B - The Morning Dilemma - If It's Awake, Take a Shower

20. The Weekend and Sports Are Not Synonomous

21. How To Put The Toilet Seat Down

22. How To Go Shopping With Your Mate and Not Get Lost

23. The Remote Control - Overcoming Your Dependency

24. Helpful Postural Hints For Couch Potatoes

25. How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children

26. You Too Can Be a Designated Driver

27. Honest, You Don't Look Like Mel Gibson, Especially When Naked

28. Changing Your Underwear - It Really Works

29. The Attainable Goal - Omitting %@#*! From Your Vocabulary

30. Fluffing the Blankets After Farting is NOT Necessary

31. Real Men Ask For Directions

32. How To Take Illness Like a Man

 

 

 

SEMINARS FOR WOMEN

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The male staff will be offering courses listed below to women of all marital status.

Attendance in at least 10 is mandatory:

 

1. Avoiding Walking in Front of the TV

2. Doing Housework Without Complaining

3. Shopping: Buying What You Can Afford, Not What You Can Charge

4. Going to The Washroom Alone (formerly Coping Without My Friends)

5. Understanding the Male Response to "Do I Look OK?"

6. Excercise: How it Keeps You from Looking Like Your Mother

7. Sex: Learning How to Initiate

8. How to Apologize When You Are Obviously Wrong

9. Understanding the Male Response to "Am I Fat?"

10. Dishwashers: Rinsing Before Is Not a Must

11. The Toilet Seat: I Can Put It Down

12. Sex Thesaurus: Alternatives to "Make Love"

13. "The Weekend" and "Long Boring Walks" Are Not Synonymous

14. How to Go Shopping With Your Mate and Not Embarrass Him

15. The Remote Control: Don't Touch What You Can't Handle

16. You Too Can Be the One to Hang Up the Phone

17. Honest, You Don't Look Like Kim Bassinger -- But You're Acceptable

18. Hairspray: The Effects On The Ecosystem (formerly One Can Is Enough)

19. Runs In Your Nylons? It's Not the End of the World

20. Fishing: Being Able to Bait Your Own Hook

21. Sex: More Than Just Lying There

22. Learning to Choose What to Wear In Less Than Four Hours

23. Vacations: Doing Without 4 Suitcases

24. Makeup: The Less is More Theory

25. Nagging: Stop the Insanity!

26. How to use only 1/2 the closet

27. Sports terminology (formerly, "No the Dodgers play Baseball not Basketball)

28. Living with only 2 dozen pairs of shoes

29. Shopping, disease or weakness

30. Excercise, it won't kill you once in a while

31. Showering: the water does not have to be set to boil

32. Getting flowers: wouldn't you rather have something useful, like an autographed baseball?

[chevy4x4trucks]

LMAO

[DigUout]

Its a shame some of the funnier jokes in here would be the first to get you smacked upside the head!