CONFUSING SIGNS

[silverado man]

CONFUSING SIGNS

 

   Automatic washing machines: Please remove all your clothes

   when the light goes out.

 

   Bargain basement upstairs.

 

   Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday

   please bring it back or further steps will be taken.

 

   Horse manure per pre-packed bag do-it-yourself.

 

   After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand

   upside down on the draining board.

 

   This is the gate of heaven. enter ye all by this door. (This

   door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side

   door.)

 

   We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc.

   Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?

 

 

   The town hall is closed until opening. It will remain closed

   after being opened. Open tomorrow.

 

   Out to lunch: if not back by five, out for dinner also.

 

   Slow cattle crossing. no overtaking for the next 100 yrs.

 

   Smarts is the most exclusive disco in town. Everyone

   welcome.

 

   Due to increasing problems with letter louts and vandals we

   must ask anyone with relatives buried in the graveyard to do

   their best to keep them in order.

 

   Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days

   will be disposed of.

 

   Please do not smoke near our petrol pumps. Your life may

   not be worth much but our petrol is.

 

   Elephants please stay in your car.

 

   For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a

   day care on the first floor.

 

   The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the

   bull charges.

 

   If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get

   lessons.

 

   We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door -

   the bell doesn't work)

 

   Beware! I shoot every tenth trespasser and the ninth one has

   just left.

[96 Vortec]

Hey Homo, what's up?  I haven't heard anything from you in a while?

 

How's the truck?

[silverado man]

I've been out of town every weekend since Christmas.  And ill be out of town this weekend also.  Trucks doing great I think I may breakdown when I get my tax return and start buying my subs.