Jump to content

100 ways to order a pizza the fun way...

Vortec5.3

By Vortec5.3
in The Off-Topic Bar

Recommended Posts

Vortec5.3 Enthusiast

Vortec5.3

Posted
Posted

100 ways to order a pizza the fun way...

 

1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask person taking the order to stop doing that.

 

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

 

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

 

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

 

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

 

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

 

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

 

8. Answer their questions with questions.

 

9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition, ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.

 

10. Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT SYSTEM.

 

11. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.

 

12. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" CD.

 

13. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.

 

14. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."

 

15. Stutter on the letter "p."

 

16. Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)

 

17. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

 

18. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.

 

19. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.

 

20. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If asked "Would you like drinks with that?", panic and become disoriented.

 

21. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.

 

22. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.

 

23. Change your accent every three seconds.

 

24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.

 

25. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"

 

26. Start your order with "I'd like. . . ". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."

 

27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."

 

28. Rent a pizza.

 

29. Order while using an electric knife sharpener.

 

30. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.

 

31. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.

 

32. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."

 

33. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"

 

34. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.

 

35. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.

 

36. Imitate the order taker's voice.

 

37. Eliminate verbs from your speech.

 

38. When they say "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."

 

39. Play a sitar in the background.

 

40. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.

 

41. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.

 

42. Ask to see a menu.

 

43. Quote Carl Sandberg.

 

44. Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.

 

45. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.

 

46. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.

 

47. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.

 

48. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.

 

49. Shout "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"

 

50. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"

 

51. Psychoanalyze the order taker.

 

52. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.

 

53. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

 

54. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.

 

55. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.

 

56. Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.

 

57. Report a petty theft to the order taker.

 

58. Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."

 

59. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.

 

60. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."

 

61. Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.

 

62. Try to talk while drinking something.

 

63. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!"

 

64. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.

 

65. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.

 

66. Be vague in your order.

 

67. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."

 

68. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.

 

69. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.

 

70. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."

 

71. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.

 

72. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.

 

73. Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.

 

74. Detect the order taker's psychic aura. Use it to your advantage.

 

75. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.

 

76. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.

 

77. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.

 

78. Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.

 

79. Put them on hold.

 

80. Teach the order taker a scret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.

 

81. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I said 'sauce smothered with meat'."

 

82. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.

 

83. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"

 

84. When you'ge given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."

 

85. Haggle.

 

86. Order a one-inch pizza.

 

87. Order term life insurance.

 

88. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"

 

89. Order with a Speak-n-Spell where applicable.

 

90. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.

 

91. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.

 

92. Engage in some serious swapping.

 

93. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."

 

94. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.

 

95. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.

 

96. Ask if the pizza has had its shots.

 

97. Order a steamed pizza.

 

98. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and-so." Hang up.

 

99. Offer to pay for the pizza with a public flogging.

 

If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, 100. Say, in your best pouty voice, "Last guy let me do it."

  • 6 months later...
MiSdIrEcTeD_1 Enthusiast

MiSdIrEcTeD_1

Posted
Posted

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

:jester:

17. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

:thumb:

 

Im gonna have to try some of these out...  :)  :flag:  :lol:

General Lee 01 Senior Enthusiast

General Lee 01

Posted
Posted

Forget all those!

 

This is the one you need to do.

 

When placing the order, when you're done, ask for extra biscuits. When the delivery boy knocks onthe door, say through the door "Alright man, you got the goods?".  :jester:

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • Latest Articles

  • Posts

    • Chuck FB
      Do you keep your tires at full capacity? 80psi

      By Chuck FB · Posted

      Are you using a weight distribution hitch system with your trailer as that alone can change the actual tire pressure requirements needed. It would prove interesting to see what the actual individual axle weights are on your truck when you are hooked up to the trailer. In fact when your hooked to the trailer, typically if anything unless it has a large capacity weight distribution system that is over cranked, often the weight on the front axle will be less when hooked up vs driving empty and certainly if one doesn't have a weight distribution hitch. Really the only times one may get up there with weight on the steer axle is if there was a snow plow mounted on the front or a motorcycle on a rack or with a very large jockey tank full of fuel at the front of the box that transfers a bit of its weight to the front axle. 
    • Artemis
      New Member Just Bought a Vtrux

      By Artemis · Posted

      Great info here thank you. I just joined, we have a 2014 Silverado truck we bought about 4 years ago with less than 5,000 miles on it. It has approximately 24,000 on it now. It appears to have all the standard issues that people are talking about. Occasional charging problems especially using 110 volt, occasional blinking triangle where nothing will turn on when first starting the truck but it will reset itself if you wait 10 to 15 minutes. Noisy coupler between the flywheel and the generator. Our truck is speed limited to 74 mph, is there any way to change that? The latest issue we have been dealing with is when driving long distance on the highway at full speed the generator does not keep the batteries charged. The meter will go into the yellow/red border Zone for charge status and the yellow triangle will illuminate solid but the generator will not keep the battery charged, not sure why the controller doesn't tell the gas engine to increase RPM to increase generator output it usually stays well below 25 kilowatts even though the battery is discharging and I have to slow down the highway to 45 mph and eventually pull over and let the truck idle to charge the battery so I can continue driving at speed. Has anyone had this issue before or have any idea how to diagnosed it? When via Motors was around it they were very helpful at troubleshooting. This becomes much if the Terrain is hilly and you're towing a small trailer
    • Z45
      Tonneau cover that does not leak water

      By Z45 · Posted

      I have the GMC accessory (REV) cover installed by dealer. Ordered with the truck.  They did a very good install job, can't find a single issue. Some water gets in around the tailgate but no where else.  You can see daylight around the tailgate but that's not the covers fault.  Installation is means everything. Guys at my dealer were seasoned pros, not inexperienced here today good tomorrow types, like many dealers employ for these jobs.   I don't mind paying for a professional job.    
    • Haufski762
      Tonneau cover that does not leak water

      By Haufski762 · Posted

      Like others have said, they will all leak. Mainly at the corners.   I have owned several and the best has been my current one. Revolver x4
    • calgator73
      LCA bolts

      By calgator73 · Posted

      About 8 months after an alignment job by the dealer I started experiencing a pretty significant clunk in the front end on hard left hand turns usually parking lot speeds almost at lock.  Occasionally get the same on hard rights too.   Discovered that the lower control arm attachment bolts are TTY and only to be used for a single use. And then I found some evidence of a TSB that indicates you can over torque those fasteners to about 130 foot pounds.   Asked a local shop to investigate and they found 3 out of four bolts loose and retorqued.   I've ordered the MOOG    K100421 lower control arm bolt kit that is completely reusable and not TTY.    Is the 80 ft pounds a realistic number?  Anyone have experience with those bolts?

  • GM-Trucks.com Clubs

  • Popular Contributors

×
×
  • Create New...