AN ARKANSAS CHRISTMAS

[silverado man]

> > > > > AN ARKANSAS CHRISTMAS

> > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > > > 'Twas the night before Christmas,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > And all through the shack,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > Not a darn thing was movin',

> > > > >

> > > > > > > From the front to the back.

> > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > > > The kids were in bed,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > (We had nine at the time,)

> > > > >

> > > > > > > The wife in her curlers

> > > > >

> > > > > > > Was lookin' real fine.

> > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > > > A cold wind was blowin'

> > > > >

> > > > > > > Up the holler it moaned,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > Ten dogs on the porch

> > > > >

> > > > > > > All howled and groaned.

> > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > > > The boys were all dreamin'

> > > > >

> > > > > > > Of weapons and guns

> > > > >

> > > > > > > For killin' God's creatures,...

> > > > >

> > > > > > > There's no better fun!

> > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > > > The girls in their feminine

> > > > >

> > > > > > > Dreams were attuned,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > To getting those gallons of

> > > > >

> > > > > > > Wal-Mart perfume.

> > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > > > The wife wanted jewelry,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > like rings with big rocks.

> > > > >

> > > > > > > I just wanted my Chevy

> > > > >

> > > > > > > Down off of them blocks.

> > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > > > Then out in the yard,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > Such a noise did commence,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > Like something was caught

> > > > >

> > > > > > > In our new bob-war fence.

> > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > > > I ran to the window,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > and saw pretty quick,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > the man makin' that racket,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > was good ol' St. Nick.

> > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > > > You may think of Santa

> > > > >

> > > > > > > in your own mind's eye,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > dressed in a red and white suit,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > but I've got a surprise.

> > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > > > That old boy's an Arkie,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > From up near Mt. Gaylor,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > He married his cousin,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > and they live in a trailer

> > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > > > On Christmas, of course,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > A sleigh for his rig,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > He hooks the thing up to

> > > > >

> > > > > > > A razorback pig!

> > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > > > He climbed on the roof

> > > > >

> > > > > > > With his bag full of goodies,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > He backed down the fireplace,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > All dirty and sooty.

> > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > > > Fat legs in his britches,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > Chubby hands in his mittens,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > I must admit (from the back),

> > > > >

> > > > > > > He looked lots like Bill Clinton.

> > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > > > He turned toward the tree,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > His eyes all aglow,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > He was an Arkansas boy

> > > > >

> > > > > > > From his head to his toe.

> > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > > > His neck was a red one,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > His shirt said "Lite Beer",

> > > > >

> > > > > > > He had no red hat on

> > > > >

> > > > > > > But his cap read "John Deere."

> > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > > > He left all the presents

> > > > >

> > > > > > > With an air of delight,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > Then it was back to the chimney

> > > > >

> > > > > > > And into the night.

> > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > > > He ran into the yard,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > Threw his bag in the sleigh,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > Then yelled at the dogs,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > "Get the #### out th' way!"

> > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > > > I ran out to ask him

> > > > >

> > > > > > > Why he brought such good cheer;

> > > > >

> > > > > > > But instead he just asked me,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > "You get you a deer?"

> > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > > > Then I heard him exclaim,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > As those pigs took flight,

> > > > >

> > > > > > > "Merry Christmas to All....

> > > > >

> > > > > > > I need a Bud Lite!"

 

 

HAVE A HAPPY REDNECK CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY.    

[racer]

here's a good one

 

http://www.twistedradio.com/show/downloads/whitetrash.asp

[silverado man]

Haha that's good.