Jump to content

JOTD

scott19677

By scott19677
in The Off-Topic Bar

Recommended Posts

patriot Enthusiast

patriot

Posted
Posted

A Good Catholic Joke

In God we trust

The Pope and Obama were on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards President Obama and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice!"
Obama replied, "I seriously doubt that! With one little wave of your hand....Show me!"
So the Pope backhanded him and knocked him off the stage!
. . . AND THE CROWD ROARED & CHEERED WILDLY and there was happiness throughout the land!

wurgs Senior Enthusiast

wurgs

Posted
Posted

That's 2 of the best ones I have heard in a while!

Spurshot Senior Enthusiast

Spurshot

Posted
Posted

A man was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on deserted island.

 

After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.

 

As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together,

but there was no more cuddling.

 

A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.

 

The only survivor was Nancy Pelosi. That evening, the man brought Nancy to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening, red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze, a perfect for a night of romance.

 

Pretty soon, the man started to get "those feelings" again. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Nancy and told her he hadn't had sex for months. Nancy batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.

 

He said, "Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"

Chris Senior Enthusiast

Chris

Posted
Posted

Nancy_Pelosi_by_tattooedaquaman.jpg

[emoji14]uke:

Brown bag special
patriot Enthusiast

patriot

Posted
Posted

Brown bag special

That CAN"T be real... GOTTA be a chop.

Chris Senior Enthusiast

Chris

Posted
Posted

That CAN"T be real... GOTTA be a chop.

It is. As old as she is, those would sag to her knees

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • Latest Articles

  • Posts

    • CamGTP
      Gas Prices

      By CamGTP · Posted

      Was all the way down to $3.69 a gallon but then jumped back to $3.99 just because for some reason.   Diesel floats between $4.80's to $5.10ish a gallon. I even saw Diesel #1 for $6.09 today but nobody in there right mind even buys that in the summer.
    • Coastie05
      OTA updates and radio still cuts out

      By Coastie05 · Posted

      Mine just keeps lagging or getting stuck on the reverse camera. When I turn off the truck, get out, and close the door it will still stay on. It’s very intermittent and I would not be able to duplicate the issue. 
    • Chuck FB
      Gas Prices

      By Chuck FB · Posted

      I was checking out fuel prices at my farm fuel retailer at their pumps and yes the farm price is a bit lower than the non dyed fuel and was glad to see that the regular farm gas price has dropped a lot from what it had been but what blew me away was the price of diesel as the spread now compared to before the prices went up earlier in the year, diesel was actually slightly lower than gas which was a switch from the theme the last number of years. However that sure isn't the theme lately and definitely not right now. The prices I will post are not from that retailer but just looking at gasbuddy for the main city in this area and instead of posting the lowest price someone found I will list the higher price ( and that may not be the highest price, just whatever someone posted on gasbuddy ).   So regular gas and there are a lot of stations listing the same price for regular is 1.68 a liter, premium 2.00 a liter. Diesel 2.03 a liter for a top price I saw on diesel.   Figures out to 6.36 a us gallon Canadian funds for regular and 7.68 for diesel. With the US exchange rate it would be 4.58 us for regular and 5.53 for diesel.    Thought I would figure that out to get a picture of what it settles out like compared to various US prices and its about the same as the current price in Fairbanks AK as Anchorage tends to be lower. So yes, these would be the prices and higher along the way on the Alaska highway where they know they have a captured market !, for fuel prices for those beginning the long drive back to the lower 48   The problem is our Canadian dollar and going to the states that have the high prices, boy do we pay then !
    • wxman13
      OTA updates and radio still cuts out

      By wxman13 · Posted

      Just wanted to get a idea of how many of you still have problems with your radio cutting out during the first few minutes of driving, my 2024 GMC Sierra still does this after a little over 2 years of complaining to my dealer about it, and OTA updates no longer complete, the check for updates in settings is greyed out for the second time while trying to install a update, my dealer took about a week to play around with it the first time this happened, and somehow got the check for updates to work, even though it would always show system is up to date when I knew it wasn't, now again 1 month later its greyed out again when the OTA update N25-F163BU tried to install, which ironically is the update to help with reliability of future updates.
    • wxman13
      OTA updates and radio still cuts out

      By wxman13 · Posted

      Just wanted to get a idea of how many of you still have problems with your radio cutting out during the first few minutes of driving, my 2024 GMC Sierra still does this after a little over 2 years of complaining to my dealer about it, and OTA updates no longer complete, the check for updates in settings is greyed out for the second time while trying to install a update, my dealer took about a week to play around with it the first time this happened, and somehow got the check for updates to work, even though it would always show system is up to date when I knew it wasn't, now again 1 month later its greyed out again when the OTA update N25-F163BU tried to install, which ironically is the update to help with reliability of future updates.

  • GM-Trucks.com Clubs

  • Popular Contributors

×
×
  • Create New...