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scott19677

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Posted

A Good Catholic Joke

In God we trust

The Pope and Obama were on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards President Obama and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice!"
Obama replied, "I seriously doubt that! With one little wave of your hand....Show me!"
So the Pope backhanded him and knocked him off the stage!
. . . AND THE CROWD ROARED & CHEERED WILDLY and there was happiness throughout the land!

Posted

That's 2 of the best ones I have heard in a while!

Posted

A man was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on deserted island.

 

After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.

 

As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together,

but there was no more cuddling.

 

A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.

 

The only survivor was Nancy Pelosi. That evening, the man brought Nancy to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening, red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze, a perfect for a night of romance.

 

Pretty soon, the man started to get "those feelings" again. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Nancy and told her he hadn't had sex for months. Nancy batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.

 

He said, "Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"

Posted

Nancy_Pelosi_by_tattooedaquaman.jpg

[emoji14]uke:

Brown bag special
Posted

Brown bag special

That CAN"T be real... GOTTA be a chop.

Posted

That CAN"T be real... GOTTA be a chop.

It is. As old as she is, those would sag to her knees

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