Jokes

[elboberino]

For those of you who don't get MAXIM in the mail, I thought you'd enjoy this.

 

An Iraqi soldier buys a camel, ties it up outside his local bar, and walks insidee.

"Nice camel," says one of his buddies.  "Is it male or femal?"

"Female, " he replies.

"How can you tell?" asks his friend.

"well, on my way over here" the man explains, "I heard this guy yell, 'Hey, look at the big pu$$y on that camel!'"

 

Two guys are chatting in a bar, complaining about their wives.  "My wife is really dumb," says the first guy.  "Last week she bought  brand-new-car and she doesn't even know how to drive."

"That's nothing,' says the second guy.  "Last week I found a bunch of condoms in my wife's purse, and she doesn't even have a penis!"

 

Q: What do you say to a woman with no arms and no legs?

A: "Nice t!ts!"

 

 

A woman goes to see a psychiatrist. "Doctor," she says, "my husband just does not satisfy me sexually anymore."

"Hmm," replies the doctor.  "Have you considered taking a lover?"

"I did that," she says, "and I'm still not getting enough sex to satisfy me."

"How about taking another lover?"

"I keep trying that.  I have seven lovers plus my husband, but I still can't seem to get enough."

"My goodness," says the doctor, "you're quite and anomaly."

"Oh, thank God," say the woman.  "Will you please tell them I'm an anomaly?  They all keep calling me a $lut"

[Wingnut]

A woman goes to see a psychiatrist. "Doctor," she says, "my husband just does not satisfy me sexually anymore."

"Hmm," replies the doctor.  "Have you considered taking a lover?"

"I did that," she says, "and I'm still not getting enough sex to satisfy me."

"How about taking another lover?"

"I keep trying that.  I have seven lovers plus my husband, but I still can't seem to get enough."

"My goodness," says the doctor, "you're quite and anomaly."

"Oh, thank God," say the woman.  "Will you please tell them I'm an anomaly?  They all keep calling me a $lut"

Hmmmmm....So THATS where she is the other six nights of the week.