Jump to content

JOTD.........adult

SteveBBB

By SteveBBB
in The Off-Topic Bar

Recommended Posts

SteveBBB Senior Enthusiast

SteveBBB

Posted
Posted


Paratrooper Training




She went through the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take her first jump from a plane.



The next day she called home to tell her mother the news."So, did you jump?" asked the mother.




“Well let me tell you what happened,” the girl said.




“We got up in the plane and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen people got up and just walked out of the plane."



“Is that when you jumped?” asked her mother. “Uh, no. The sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door.”



”Did you jump then?” asked her mother. “I’m getting to that."



"Everyone else had jumped, and I was the last one left on the plane." "I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump."



"He told me to get off the plane or he’d kick my butt.” “So, did you jump?"



“No. He tried to push me out of the plane but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go."



"Finally, he called over the Jump Master." "The Jump Master is this great big guy about six-foot six and 280 pounds." He said to me, “Are you gonna jump or not?’’



I said, "No sir, I’m too scared.”“So, the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took out his Johnson.



I swear, Mom, it was about ten inches long and big around as a baseball bat!"



He said, "Either you jump out that door or I’m sticking this bad boy right up your ass."




“So, did you jump?” asked her mother. The daughter responded, “A little at first.”


Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • Latest Articles

  • Posts

    • Black02Silverado
      Post your UOA, (used oil analysis) here

      By Black02Silverado · Posted

      Here's the second UOA on my 22 Wrangler with the Ecodiesel. This has 5k miles on AMSOIL Signature Series DEO 5w-40. The first one was dealer installed oil, no clue what it was, the second is what AMSOIL recommended, European FS 5w-40, Most of the Ecodiesel world is showing great results using the European MS 5w-40, I figured I would see how the DEO works. This is using an Ecoguard oil filter. It's my understanding this engine likes to shed aluminum.  We will see. So far I don't think this is too bad.    
    • revmanii
      Disable DRL's

      By revmanii · Posted

      I'm surprised nobody seems to offer a solution like the start/stop device I put in my new truck. Remembers my setting when shutdown. And while it still starts up in start/stop, it stores/evaluates what mode it was in when shut down and will change it whithin a second or 2 of startup. It'd be nice to have something like that for the DRLs.
    • btm
      Sunroof Drain Hole Entry & Exit Location (w/ Pictures)

      By btm · Posted

      2015 Sierra 1500 here. Leaks from the sunroof to front driver side and soaks carpet. How do I fix this? Thanks!
    • Atlas
      Wow I'm in a pickle. (Broke down truck) and a story.

      By Atlas · Posted

      I will be doing that for sure, but I need to solve who has/ where I can find a bidirectional scan tool that will support OBD 1.5. I'm kicking myself because I ebay'ed a Snap On MT2500 that I didn't think I'd ever need anymore. D'oh!! I'd rather not buy another, so I'll contact a few local shops to see if they have one and how much they'd want to do the procedure. I'd rather have the ability to do it myself... I wish there was a modern tool that could do it all, but I'd have no idea what to buy.   The theory with the pulled timing is that it mimics a rich condition. The delayed spark causes incomplete burn and the O2 sensor picks up low oxygen levels. That's interpreted as a rich condition so the PCM pulls fuel and that shows up in the deeply negative fuel trims.
    • Chuck FB
      Joke Thread

      By Chuck FB · Posted

      An ultra wealthy man had the most beautiful daughter. But, there was a problem. Everything she touched would melt in her hands. No matter what, Metal, Wood, Stone. Anything she touched would melt. She could not feed herself. Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her. Her father was despaired. What could he do to help his daughter? He consulted doctors, scientists and anybody who could solve this problem. Finally one of them said, "If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured." He was overjoyed and came up with a plan. The next day, he held a competition. Any man who could bring his daughter an object that would not melt in her hands would be given billions of dollars to marry her. Three extremely intelligent and handsome young men took up the challenge. The first brought a very heavy steel rod, But alas, when the she touched it, it completely melted in a matter of seconds. He sadly went away. The second brought a beautiful diamond, knowing diamonds were one of the hardest substance in the world and would not melt. But alas, once she held it in her hand, it melted. He too was sent away disappointed. So now, there was one left He was very nervous & sweating. He approached the daughter & said, “put your hand in my pants pocket and feel what is in there." She did exactly what he asked. She felt something very hard. She held it in her hand, squeezing it as hard as she could. It did not melt & remained extremely hard. Her father was overjoyed. Everybody was overjoyed. She was finally cured. Nothing never, ever melted in her hand again. They married and they both lived happily ever after, raising a wonderful family. Question: What was in the the groom’s pants pocket??? Answer below ↓ M&Ms of course! They melt in your mouth, not in your hand. What on earth were you thinking?

  • GM-Trucks.com Clubs

  • Popular Contributors

×
×
  • Create New...