O.c.e.a.n. Syndrome

[Scyry]

Living with O.C.E.A.N. Syndrome - By Scooter Grubb Just recently, after years of research, I have finally been able togive a name to what my wife and I have been living with for years. It's anaffliction, for sure, which when undiagnosed and misunderstood candevastate and literally tear a family apart. Very little is known about O.C.E.A.N. Syndrome. But it is my hope thisarticle will generate interest from researchers involved in the equine andpsychological sciences. You will, no doubt, begin to identify similarsymptoms in your own family and hopefully now be able to cope. Obsessive Compulsive Equine Attachment Neurosis Syndrome(O.C.E.A.N.S) is usually found in the female and can manifest itselfanytime from birth to the golden years. Symptoms may appear any time andmay even go dormant in the late teens, but the syndrome frequently re-emerges in later years. Symptoms vary widely in both number and degree of severity. Allow meto share some examples which are most prominent in our home. The afflicted individual:

 

1. Can smell moldy hay at ten paces, but can't tell whether milk has gone bad until it turns chunky.

2. Finds the occasional "Buck and Toot" session hugely entertaining,but severely chastises her husband for similar antics.

3. Will spend hours cleaning and conditioning her tack, but wants toeat on paper plates so there are no dishes.

4. Considers equine gaseous excretions a fragrance, and actually looksforward to piles of poop around the barn, signifying that the equine inquestion is "healthy"!

5. Enjoys mucking out four stalls twice a day, but insists on having ahousekeeper mop the kitchen floor once a week.

6. Will spend an hour combing and trimming an equine mane, but wears abaseball cap so she doesn't waste time brushing her own hair.

7. Will dig through manure piles daily looking for worms, but doesnot bait own hook when fishing.

8. Will not hesitate to administer a rectal exam up to her shoulder,but finds cleaning out the Thanksgiving turkey cavity for dressing quiterepulsive.

9. By memory can mix eight different supplements in the correctproportions, but can't make macaroni and cheese that isn't soupy.

10. Twice a week will spend an hour scrubbing algae from the watertanks, but has a problem cleaning lasagna out of the casserole dish.

11. Will pick a horse's nose, and call it cleaning, but becomes totallygrossed out and verbally violent when her husband picks his.

12. Can sit through a four-hour session of a ground work clinic, butunable to make it through a half-hour episode of Cops. The spouse of an afflicted victim:

 

1. Must come to terms with the fact there is no cure, and onlyslightly effective treatments. The syndrome may be genetic or caused bythe inhaling of manure particles which, I propose, have an adverse effecton female hormones.

2. Must adjust the family budget to include equine items - hay,veterinarian services, farrier services, riding boots and clothes,supplements, tack, equine masseuse and acupuncturist - as well as the mandatory equine spiritual guide, etc. Once you have identified a monthlyfigure, never look at it again. Doing so will cause tightness in yourchest, nausea and occasional diarrhea. Besides, it goes up every monthanyway.

3. Must realize that your spouse has no control over this affliction.More often than not, she will deny a problem even exists as denial iscommon. There are support groups for spouses, and should be attended tomanage the anger at the denial from spouse. Which leads to the nextitem.....

4. Must form a support group. You need to know you're not alone - andthere's no shame in admitting your wife has a problem. My supportgroup, for instance, involves men who truly enjoy Harley Davidsons,four-day weekends and lots of scotch. Most times, she is unaware that I ameven gone, until the precise moment she needs help getting a 50-pound bagof grain out of the truck. Now you can better see how O.C.E.A.N.S. affects countless households inthis country and abroad. It knows no racial, ethnic or religiousboundaries. It is a syndrome that will be difficult to treat because thosemost affected are in denial and therefore, not interested in a cure. So, Iam taking it upon myself to be constantly diligent in my research in orderto pass along information to make it easier for caretakers to cope on aday to day basis. If you would like future updates on this progressive dissease, please sendnotification to OCEANsyndrome.com.

 

 

 

 

 

The above describes my Mom. Keep telling her to buy a motorcycle...

[silverad03]

What my brother and I refer to as "horse people."

 

The types that spend untold sums of money on their horses. I particularly enjoy mocking those that have an air conditioned trailer with tinted windows to tow their horses around in and a fully loaded dually crew cab truck to pull the trailer with - but live in a dumpy house, buy their clothes at Wal-Mart (not that there's anything wrong with that, except when you can't afford anything else because of an obsession), and scrimp-by financially in most other areas of their life so they can buy crap for their horses all the time and afford to haul their horses all over creation on the weekends.

 

Horses seem to become a real obsession for some folks. I just don't get it. But, to each his own I guess.

[General Lee 01]

particularly enjoy mocking those that have an air conditioned trailer with tinted windows to tow their horses around in and a fully loaded dually crew cab truck to pull the trailer with

 

Their probably protecting their investment, The Horse business is a High Dollar one. Alot of the Horses run into the thousands to purchase (they probably cost more than my car).

 

My Aunt and Cousin are big into horses. But they got out of it cause the upkeep and everything else involved was so stressful.