What I Really Want To Know Is...

[Grebbler]

...where are all my socks going?!

 

I have purchased easily 10 packs of socks last year. That makes my

official sock inventory about 60 pairs not counting the previous years

stock. And yet, come laundry time, I can only find about eight pairs

(even after looking under the bed and sofa cushions).

 

Could it be true that they are hanging out in an alternate dimension

along with my Bic lighters and pens? Is there some kind of 'exchange

program' going on that if a lighter turns up, another pair or two of

socks have jumped the fence to freedom? Are the lighters conspiring

against me and running an underground railroad or are they merely

lookouts assisting my oppressed apparel in their bid for a better life?

 

Are some of them going off on long vacations while a few stick around

to allay my suspicions?

 

*** takes medication to curb images of socks lounging around a beach

under a warm sun, sipping on comical fruit drinks with little umbrellas

in them.***

 

In the past I have taken a relaxed approach to this dilemma. I would

simply write them off as dryer lint and go get some more that look just

like them. That could be the problem - since they are alike I cannot

spot when a subversive sock has come back and is even right now hidden

away in the drawer spreading dissension among the ranks.

 

I am at my wits end!

 

I am currently tagging each one with a number and an RFID locator.

Each sock will be checked off on the master roster as they go into the

washer and back in when (if) they come out of the dryer!

 

I'll teach those fuzzy tubes of smugness who's the BOSS around here!!!

 

** takes deep breath **

 

If anyone can shed some light on the matter I would be grateful.

 

Ed

[Wingnut]

Relax man...It's just underpants gnomes dude.