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Dear Redneck Son...

gandolphxx

By gandolphxx
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gandolphxx Senior Enthusiast

gandolphxx

Posted
Posted

Dearest Redneck Son,

 

 

I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast.

 

We don't live where we did when you left home. Your Dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved.

 

I won't be able to send you the address because the last Arkansas family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.

 

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well, though. Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them since.

 

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.

 

About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy Bob said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

 

Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

 

Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle.

The baby looks just like your brother.

 

Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated, he burned for three days.

 

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

 

Your Favorite Aunt,

 

Mom

  • 4 weeks later...
NewbieZ71 Senior Enthusiast

NewbieZ71

Posted
Posted
I DO NOT like this joke...LOL  That is soo not true about southern people...Not all of us are like that!!

You're right, all of us arent like that but all of us are like that a LITTLE!!!!!!

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