drinks tell the story

bassdog · April 22, 2002

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:

Drink: Beer

Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth. Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks

Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the buttocks.

Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks

Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky tastes; knows exactly what she wants.

Your Approach: You won't have to approach her, if she is interested, she'll send YOU a drink.

Drink: Wine - (does not include White Zinfandel, see below)

Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.

Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends.

Drink: White Zinfandel

Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has no clue.

Your approach: Make her feel smarter than she is ... this should be an easy target.

Drink: Shots

Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get totally drunk ... and naked.

Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed this evening. Nothing to do but wait. However, be careful not to make her mad!

Then there is the MALE addendum. The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:

Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.

Whiskey: He doesn't give a hoot about anything but getting laid.

Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.

White Zinfandel: He's gay

gandolphxx · April 22, 2002

You are warming up, must have gotten a new batch

bassdog · April 22, 2002

New batch, hey, I have to work for these jokes

Besides, it's not the same without Newbie around...anyone know where he is? Maybe I have to post some of my "regular" jokes to draw him out

pacodiablo · April 23, 2002

hey man, bassdog goes to he!! on friday for these jokes! J/K!

gandolphxx · April 23, 2002

New batch, hey, I have to work for these jokes
Besides, it's not the same without Newbie around...anyone know where he is? Maybe I have to post some of my "regular" jokes to draw him out

Control yourself - be nice, and prolific