Joke for Tuesday....

Torque Junkie · November 13, 2001

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket, where she selected a quart of milk, a carton of eggs, juice, and a package of bacon. As she was

unloading her items on the conveyer belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her, watched as she placed her items in front of the cashier.

He said, "You must be single."

The woman, a bit startled, looked at the four items on the belt, and, seeing nothing particularly unusual about her selections, said: "Well, y'know, that's right. But how on earth did you know that?

The drunk said, "Cause you're uglier 'n sh*t."

chevy4x4trucks · November 13, 2001

that's a good one. Just livens up the tuesday morning.

DigUout · November 13, 2001

Thanks for the laugh with my coffee!

Kansas Kid · November 13, 2001

Joke #2 for Tuesday....

A couple had been married 15 years. One afternoon they were working in the garden together. As the wife was bending over pulling weeds, the husband said, "Hey, honey, you're getting fat. Your butt is getting huge. I bet it's as big as the gas grill now."

The husband, feeling he needed to prove his point, got a yardstick, measured the grill,and then measured his wife's butt. "Yes," he said, "just what I thought, just about the same size." The wife got very incensed and decided to let him do the gardening alone. She went inside and didn't speak to her husband the rest of the day.

That evening, when they went to bed, the husband cuddled up to his wife, and said, "How about it, honey? How about a little action?" the wife rolled over and turned her back to him, giving him the cold shoulder.

"What's the matter?" he asked,

To which she replied, "You don't think I'm going to fire up this big gas grill for one little weenie, do you?