GM’s Tips On Getting Your “Holiday Tree” Home vs. Ours

[Gorehamj]

John Goreham

Contributing Writer, GM-Trucks.com

11-29-2017

General Motors issued an official press release today on the do’s and don’ts of proper “Holiday tree” transport. It literarily starts with “Dress Warmly.” GM’s next helpful tip is that if you are putting the tree into your vehicle, lay down a tarp first. Innovative. GM also suggests that pointing the stump end of the tree in the direction of travel, rather than have it be torn to bits by the wind. Those Ph.D.s with the wind tunnel are not going to waste! Finally, GM offers some sort of nonsense about a figure eight rope pattern.The release closes by suggesting a GM vehicle with 4G LTE WiFi and Apple Car Play might be a good choice. We can’t see how those things would hurt, but a big ole’ extended cargo area behind a Sierra might be our first choice of equipment.

 

Here are our suggestions for a more memorable Christmas tree transportation experience:

1)      Tie the tree to the back of your vehicle and drag it home. When you arrive, put the flat side into a corner. This avoids getting those needles all over the car.

2)      Rather than a truck, use a slammed, stanced Miata with a three-foot phallic stick shift to drive the tree home. Just toss it in the back and keep your speed under 80 MPH and you will be fine. Try to avoid oversteer until you get the hang of the new weight distribution.

 

Top of page image courtesy of the Sudbury, Mass. Police Departement. Click the links to view the other image sources. Happy Holidays!

[isiddall]

some more options for the forgetful

 

 

if you forget rope

 

if you forget the saw

 

 

if you forget your truck

 

if you forget that there's storage space under that pretty tonneau cover

[Smough]

Thank you for the tips, but I don't think it would be so complicated to bring home the holiday tree, at least not for me.