The Guys' Rules

[Scyry]

The Guys' Rules-------------------

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, the guys' side of the story.

(I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear "the rules"

From the female side.

 

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1"

ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

 

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

We need it up, you need it down.

You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

 

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon

or the changing of the tides.

Let it be.

 

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.

And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

 

1. Crying is blackmail.

 

1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

 

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every

question.

 

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's

what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

 

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a doctor

 

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

 

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us

to act like soap opera guys.

 

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.

Don't ask us.

 

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them

makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one.

 

1. You can either ask us to do something

Or tell us how you want it done.

Not both.

If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

 

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during

commercials.

 

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

 

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.

We have no idea what mauve is.

 

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

We do that

 

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like

nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we

know you will bring it up again later.

 

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer

you don't want to hear.

 

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is

fine...

Really.

 

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to

discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,

or golf.

 

1. You have enough clothes.

 

1. You have too many shoes.

 

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

 

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

 

 

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

[vxaxv17]

Man those are good. So true! I can never pick up on those stupid hints...just say it! geez ;)

[Clavin78]

Man those are good.  So true!  I can never pick up on those stupid hints...just say it! geez ;)

 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

 

 

I must be blind when it comes to subtle hints...becuase I have no idea what girls are thinking.

[Schmids5.3l]

Amen to the man who made those rules.

 

These are really good ones I thought, I need to tell them to my Girl Friend

 

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's

what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

 

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like

nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we

know you will bring it up again later.

 

 

I have one myself..Kinda fits the rules listed above, but kinda doesnt...

 

No guy wants to be 'just friends' with an attractive woman, when he's single. Men have enough friends. Men cant truely be 'friends' with women anyways, we drink beer, watch TV, and live in the garage.

 

Easy way to prove it too. Girl asks guy (who is just a 'friend') if he wants to start a relationship. I'd bet money he jumps on it. I was in that situation once back in high school....I said "Ive got plenty of friends" Things didnt work out