Pilot Jokes

[planedr]

how do you know when a pilot is at a party?

don't worry he'll tell you.

 

whats the differance between God and a pilot?

God doesn't think he's a pilot.

 

What does a pilot use for birth control?

his personality.

 

Whats the difference between a pilot and a tubine engine?

shut the engine off and it stops whining.

 

What does a pilots wife do to her arsehole before having sex? - Drop him off at the airport!

 

A welcome to a new co-pilot from an old captain:

Son, your wife's legs have more time in the air than you do.

 

How do you bury a pilot?

You give him an enema and bury what’s left in a shoe box.

[General Lee 01]

Why was the pilot arrested?

 

He was high as a kite!

[Nice rig]

College degree to break it

 

High School diploma to fix it!!!

[ThorsHD]

A C-130 was flying on a mission when a cocky F-16 pilot flew up next to him.

The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, "watch this!" and promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a steep climb! He then finished with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier.

The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he thought of that.

 

The C-130 pilot said, "That was impressive, but watch this!"

 

The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes, and then the C-130 pilot came back on and said "What did you think of that?"

 

Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, "What the hell did you do?"

 

The C-130 pilot chuckled, "I stood up, stretched my legs, went to the back, took a piss , then got a cup of coffee and a sweet roll and farted."

[Nice rig]

A C-130 was flying on a mission when a cocky F-16 pilot flew up next to him.

The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, "watch this!" and promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a steep climb! He then finished with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier.

The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he thought of that.

 

The C-130 pilot said, "That was impressive, but watch this!"

 

The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes, and then the C-130 pilot came back on and said "What did you think of that?"

 

Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, "What the hell did you do?"

 

The C-130 pilot chuckled, "I stood up, stretched my legs, went to the back, took a piss , then got a cup of coffee and a sweet roll and farted."

4 fans of freedom

[Razor1616]

A C-130 was flying on a mission when a cocky F-16 pilot flew up next to him.

The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, "watch this!" and promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a steep climb! He then finished with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier.

The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he thought of that.

 

The C-130 pilot said, "That was impressive, but watch this!"

 

The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes, and then the C-130 pilot came back on and said "What did you think of that?"

 

Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, "What the hell did you do?"

 

The C-130 pilot chuckled, "I stood up, stretched my legs, went to the back, took a piss , then got a cup of coffee and a sweet roll and farted."

 

 

F-16 pilot told a C-130 pilot "I can do anything that you can do better"

 

The C-130 pilot replied "ok, do what i just did"

 

F-16 pilot "What did you just do?"

 

The C-130 pilot replied "Shut down 2 engines, Beat that"

[brnr17]

^^^ LOL