Some Idiot Tried Assaulting Me Today..

Kodiak450 · January 12, 2009

Was coming back today from lesco with a palet of you know what, and was doing 37 in a 40, as I just came up an incline, when I got to the top and started descending, still doing about 37-39mph i got severly slowed down by some idiot in a corolla. The idiot was going about 25 in a 40, then he had the odessity sticking his middle finger out in window, so I go to pass him ( with ease i might add) and pulled in front of him and slowed down to a stop in hopes he would stop so i could confront him, well he gets into left lane and keeps going , so I started accelerating ( with ease I might ass again) and he could not pass me for the love of christ. Finally he brakes and gets behind me, then I returned the finger back at him and accelerated, well he alos tried accelerating and couldn't catch up until I slowed down for a turn, "I was like, good, he's following me" I then took a different route that leads to private road which is basically a little wider then a one lane road. So I made it look like i was trying to evade him after i returned the finger salute back at him and the idiot bought it, hook, line sinker.

So I turned onto private road and he followed, drove in X amount of distance, away from main road, and line of sight of anyone, then came to a stop. He then stops, i got out and walked to my rear, he got out and had only a few words to say " Oh shit, and **** it" The oh shit was he had no idea I was a big dude, and the **** it, was he took a swing at me. Well I was hoping just for that, because I was able to do what i do best. I grabbed his arm as he swung, and put a devasting hold on his arm and popped his shoulder right out of socket, he was screaming like a mother ****er! Then took the liberty of adjusting his middle finger for him and I heard a crack, an he was screaming even louder. I did not throw any punches at him, nor use a martial art kick on him to protect my ass if this were to back fire. I then removed his walet from his pocket, and got his license and said "I now know who you are, and where you live" Then I doubled his cash for him, he had a few $20's and a $50 bill, along with some smaller bills. Tore them up and threw it on him, then took his car key off his key chain as he lay there kicking and screaming on the ground.

Then said to him, "why don't you get yourself a real car faggot". Then he cried out "You bastard" as I started to walk away, so I stopped and went back and said "What the **** did you just say" he then took his right arm which he has holding his left arm with and put it over his head, (I guess he thought I was going to hit him or something) he was showing complete fear as I stood over him and was also crying at this point. So I went to his car and opened up the rear door and then grabbed this sorry ass peice of monkey shit and picked him up in the air by holding him by his jacket, elevated about 2 ft higher then me, and then threw him into his rear seat and shut the door. I wouldn't put him in the trunk, but he wouldn't fit. Then went to my vehicle and got a couple of beers, and then walked back to Mr. Monkey shit opened up other rear door and cracked it open and poured it all over his head and chest. Then cracked open the other on, and poured that one on him too.

Then said " have a nice ****ing trip home Monkey shit.

This all was self defense btw, maybe the beer and doubling his money thing was a little extreme, but he has some explaining to do if someone decide to call the police on him. First thing the officer will smell is liquor and question him about it. Plus he has no drivers license on him, and is missing a car key, because he got drunk and lost it. Nice set up huh?

No witnesses, no evidence of bruises, no blood, just a very questionable story to any police officer.

ursandal · January 12, 2009

Did it ever occur to you to just go on about your business and not worry about who flips you off? Really, who cares? I'm going to hope this is just a good internet story you came up with to troll for responses.

dietz4ibanez · January 12, 2009

Hopefully he doesnt hire an investigator and do a google search and find this thread.... I am sure that he could afford a lawyer since you doubled his money!!!

You should have just pulled your bow out on him!!!

liebemshats · January 12, 2009

Did it ever occur to you to just go on about your business and not worry about who flips you off? Really, who cares? I'm going to hope this is just a good internet story you came up with to troll for responses.

+1

If this is for real, help me remember to wave politely at you when I see you. Or better still, just ignore you.

seasu · January 12, 2009

I'm just waiting for someone to say the thread is useless without pics.

Kodiak450 · January 12, 2009

No, no weapons, that is getting out of line and too serious. I used a restraint hold on him, just like any police officer would've done. Maybe not that particular hold, as it is a judo hold, but they are trained to use a similar type of hold.

He gave me the finger, that is harrassment, and he could get a ticket for that.

Kodiak450 · January 12, 2009

Did it ever occur to you to just go on about your business and not worry about who flips you off? Really, who cares? I'm going to hope this is just a good internet story you came up with to troll for responses.

+1

If this is for real, help me remember to wave politely at you when I see you. Or better still, just ignore you.

No it's real, not something that happens every day, but it happens. Guy is driving 25 in a 40 and flips me off, I'm just trying to drive. He started it, I finished it. The moral of this, and Mr. Monkey crap learned this today, is to not stick your middle finger up at people you do not know. There is an old saying, "One day you are going to mouth of to the wrong person" I am this wrong person, or so I like to think. I did everything by the book with the exception of the BS misdeminor.

Kodiak450 · January 12, 2009

I'm just waiting for someone to say the thread is useless without pics.

Sorry, the paparazza was too busy with Governor Blagovich.

gave20 · January 12, 2009

Damn it, now where did I put my hipboots.

BuckFeverZ · January 12, 2009

Probably would've been better just being left alone, but it does make for a hell of a story

I wonder what the cops said when they got to him

SoCalChris · January 12, 2009

No it's real, not something that happens every day, but it happens. Guy is driving 25 in a 40 and flips me off, I'm just trying to drive. He started it, I finished it. The moral of this, and Mr. Monkey crap learned this today, is to not stick your middle finger up at people you do not know. There is an old saying, "One day you are going to mouth of to the wrong person" I am this wrong person, or so I like to think. I did everything by the book with the exception of the BS misdeminor.

If someone flips you off for no reason, just smile and wave at them. That will piss them off more than anything, and it won't lead to a big drama like that.

And I forgot to add...

Nick The Great · January 12, 2009

If even 10% of this is true, then Holy shit!

I guess the guy was asking for it, but the way you tried to get him to confront you makes it sound like you were the aggressor.

I thought at first that the wacko who tried to buy your Jeep came back.

merlin5577 · January 12, 2009

Was coming back today from lesco with a palet of you know what, and was doing 37 in a 40, as I just came up an incline, when I got to the top and started descending, still doing about 37-39mph i got severly slowed down by some idiot in a corolla. The idiot was going about 25 in a 40, then he had the odessity sticking his middle finger out in window, so I go to pass him ( with ease i might add) and pulled in front of him and slowed down to a stop in hopes he would stop so i could confront him, well he gets into left lane and keeps going , so I started accelerating ( with ease I might ass again) and he could not pass me for the love of christ. Finally he brakes and gets behind me, then I returned the finger back at him and accelerated, well he alos tried accelerating and couldn't catch up until I slowed down for a turn, "I was like, good, he's following me" I then took a different route that leads to private road which is basically a little wider then a one lane road. So I made it look like i was trying to evade him after i returned the finger salute back at him and the idiot bought it, hook, line sinker.

So I turned onto private road and he followed, drove in X amount of distance, away from main road, and line of sight of anyone, then came to a stop. He then stops, i got out and walked to my rear, he got out and had only a few words to say " Oh shit, and **** it" The oh shit was he had no idea I was a big dude, and the **** it, was he took a swing at me. Well I was hoping just for that, because I was able to do what i do best. I grabbed his arm as he swung, and put a devasting hold on his arm and popped his shoulder right out of socket, he was screaming like a mother ****er! Then took the liberty of adjusting his middle finger for him and I heard a crack, an he was screaming even louder. I did not throw any punches at him, nor use a martial art kick on him to protect my ass if this were to back fire. I then removed his walet from his pocket, and got his license and said "I now know who you are, and where you live" Then I doubled his cash for him, he had a few $20's and a $50 bill, along with some smaller bills. Tore them up and threw it on him, then took his car key off his key chain as he lay there kicking and screaming on the ground.

Then said to him, "why don't you get yourself a real car faggot". Then he cried out "You bastard" as I started to walk away, so I stopped and went back and said "What the **** did you just say" he then took his right arm which he has holding his left arm with and put it over his head, (I guess he thought I was going to hit him or something) he was showing complete fear as I stood over him and was also crying at this point. So I went to his car and opened up the rear door and then grabbed this sorry ass peice of monkey shit and picked him up in the air by holding him by his jacket, elevated about 2 ft higher then me, and then threw him into his rear seat and shut the door. I wouldn't put him in the trunk, but he wouldn't fit. Then went to my vehicle and got a couple of beers, and then walked back to Mr. Monkey shit opened up other rear door and cracked it open and poured it all over his head and chest. Then cracked open the other on, and poured that one on him too.

Then said " have a nice ****ing trip home Monkey shit.

This all was self defense btw, maybe the beer and doubling his money thing was a little extreme, but he has some explaining to do if someone decide to call the police on him. First thing the officer will smell is liquor and question him about it. Plus he has no drivers license on him, and is missing a car key, because he got drunk and lost it. Nice set up huh?

No witnesses, no evidence of bruises, no blood, just a very questionable story to any police officer.