Thats How The Fight Started

[superjim]

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

 

She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

 

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

 

 

….and THAT’S how the fight started….

[superjim]

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

 

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.

 

I bought her a scale.

 

 

….and THAT’S how the fight started….

[superjim]

I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'

 

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

 

'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.

 

So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'

 

 

….and THAT’S how the fight started….

[superjim]

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

 

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

 

I told her the beer would make her look better at night faster than the cold cream.

 

 

….and THAT’S how the fight started….

[superjim]

took my wife to a restaurant.

 

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

 

'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'

 

He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

 

'Nah, she can order for herself.'

 

 

….and THAT’S how the fight started….

[pennzoil29]

[GatorFan]

My wife and I were moving and the movers asked me...

 

"Excuse me sir, so you want us to load the dishwasher?"

 

I said, "Nah, she's riding with me."

 

 

AND THAT'S HOW THE FIGHT STARTED!

[2000DV4.8]

My wife and I were moving and the movers asked me...

 

"Excuse me sir, so you want us to load the dishwasher?"

 

I said, "Nah, she's riding with me."

 

 

AND THAT'S HOW THE FIGHT STARTED!

 

For some reason I feel like this just happened recently...

[GatorFan]

My wife and I were moving and the movers asked me...

 

"Excuse me sir, so you want us to load the dishwasher?"

 

I said, "Nah, she's riding with me."

 

 

AND THAT'S HOW THE FIGHT STARTED!

 

For some reason I feel like this just happened recently...

 

 

Now what gave you that idea

[MarkD]

[99silveradoz71]

These are getting good

[carneyman]

"My son asked why women wear white at a wedding. I replied 'So the dishwasher matches the oven and the refrigerator.'

 

 

 

And thats how the fight started."

[GatorFan]

When I was stationed in Louisiana we had a radio station that had "Joke Friday." Well I called one day on a dare and told them this joke (I didn't realize my wife decided to have the station playing at her office and the only people working there were girls)

 

Here is what I told the radio station dude...

 

What is the difference between a girl in Louisiana and a parrot?

 

You can teach a parrot to say NO

 

My wife's reaction -

 

AND THAT's WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED

[punmax]

[ChaoticMind08]

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

 

She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

 

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

 

 

….and THAT'S how the fight started….

It's like you quoted everything off of Entensity.net

 

EDIT:

 

From Entensity.net.

 

Proof that Men Have Better Friends...

 

Friendship among Women:

A woman didn't come home one night.

The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house.

The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.

 

Friendship among Men:

A man didn't come home one night.

The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house.

The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.