Joke...

Torque Junkie · December 10, 2001

A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.

After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice cream shop, and being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers.

After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up from the engine and says, "It looks like you blew a seal."

"No, no," the penguin replies, wiping his mouth "it's just ice cream."

NeXuS1 · December 10, 2001

since when can penguin drive?

Jpshostr · December 10, 2001

That is awful, I'm going to have to tell everyone I know!

pacodiablo · December 10, 2001

penguins can drive??

Kansas Kid · December 11, 2001

Here is another bad one. Did your hear that Ellen Degeneres drowned?

They found her face down in Ricki Lake!

Torque Junkie · December 11, 2001

Here is another bad one. Did your hear that Ellen Degeneres drowned?

They found her face down in Ricki Lake!

LMFAO!!!

General Lee 01 · December 11, 2001

Man, yall are pushin the limits....

Keep em cumm.....uh...I mean coming.

chevy4x4trucks · December 11, 2001

Funny, and paco and nexus1, stop over thinking things. Had the penguin driven a bling bling kinda car I'm sure you wouldn't question it.

Stepside Z · December 12, 2001

LMAO

By the way, Paco what is a bling bling?

pacodiablo · December 12, 2001

LMAO
By the way, Paco what is a bling bling?

bling bling means shiney, like a chromed out rolex or a truck with big rim

pacodiablo · December 12, 2001

Man, yall are pushin the limits....

Keep em cumm.....uh...I mean coming.

i thought u would delete these, u deleted my joke about the boss's wife

Kansas Kid · December 12, 2001

i thought u would delete these, u deleted my joke about the boss's wife

Surely it couldn't have been much worse then mine? :0

General Lee 01 · December 12, 2001

i thought u would delete these, u deleted my joke about the boss's wife

Did I? Oh, I'm sorry.

It's been awhile back hasn't it?

There's a fine line between pushing the limit and going over the limit.

Aww heck, go ahead, re-post it.

A few dirty Jokes every now and then shouldn't hurt. Would they?

But don't go real deep into detail. That would be too much.

Kansas Kid · December 12, 2001

Once upon a time, in a nice little forest, there lived a blind little bunny and a blind little snake.

One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit. "Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. In fact, I don't even know what I am."

"It's quite okay," replied the snake. "Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth. Tell you what, maybe I could kinda slither over you, and figure out what you are, so at least you'll have that going for you."

"Oh, that would be wonderful," replied the bunny. So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny."

"Oh, thank you! Thank you," cried the bunny in obvious excitement.

The bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you with my paw, and help you the same way you've helped me."

So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're scaly and slippery all over, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls. I'd say you must be either a politician, an attorney, or possibly someone in upper management."

Kansas Kid · December 12, 2001

This Texan walks into an Irish Pub and announces that he's making a bet with all the patrons. "I hear the Irish think they're all a bunch of hard drinkers. Well I got $500 for any of you potato-eaters who can drink ten pints of Guinness back to back."

The place goes silent and nobody moves. They all just look around the pub for any takers. One guy gets up and walks out of the pub and down the street. He comes back around 15 minutes later and asks the big Texan if his bet is still good. "Yeah" says the Texan. "OK, let's get started." replies the Irishman. So the barkeep lines up ten pints of the Stout and the Irishman rips through them like water. All ten, one after another. No problem.

The Texan stares in amazement, whips out his billfold and peels off $500 cash and pays the Irishman. "Let me ask you one thing," the Texan says..."Where did you go for those 15 minutes?"

"Well," the Irishman replies "I had to go to the pub up the street and make sure I could do it first."