Jump to content

Navigating senior years.


Donstar

Recommended Posts

Getting old can be tough but it certainly beats the alternative.  Personally, I found my 60's a little frustrating because I felt too young to be old but too old to be young.   I found hitting 70 gave me official senior status with full bragging rights!  I am learning the value of sharing age related struggles with others.  There are many people in your reach who have tips and tricks that will eliminate some of the new obstacles you will face.  We all have seen our older relatives with their walkers, Velcro shoe ties, and puffy pants.  A lot of these observations are without context.  Some of these items may be necessary and some avoidable.  Ask others with experience before adopting the stereotypical senior helpers.  You may think this stuff is obvious, but I have a 3 year old $500. unused walker in my closet.  I thought I was being proactive and didn't anticipate my future needs correctly.  This weekend I just about paid $1k for a raised seat for my Harley Freewheeler.   It was painful to get off my trike due to the osteoarthritis in my knees and shoulders.  While making inquiries about a higher seat, a more senior rider with similar issues told me his physiotherapist taught him how to get off his trike pain free.  It is a ridiculously simple technique but works like a cham.  (You simply slide yourself to the back of the seat and lift your leg over in front of you.)  Last week my wife was researching walk-in bathtubs for me because I like having a bath.  I don't like her idea.   I found a clamp on grab handle at my local Rona and now find getting in and out of the tub much easier.  Contrary to what seems obvious., it is not the strength of the handle, it is the way it directs me is the most value.  Seniors need to work smarter as we can't always work harder!   Share something here that you've discovered or question about the "joys" of getting old!

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yesterday I stood in line at the pharmacy behind a tall old gentleman who reminded me of my father-in-law.  The receptionist asked this gentleman for his birthdate and it turns out he was 6 months younger than me.  It's not that he looked any worse or better,  but there are inconsistencies between how we see ourselves and our actual age.  I remember the first time in recent history a young, good looking woman ran ahead to hold a door open for me.  I am pretty sure it wasn't to check me over for potential date material!

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have a cab height canopy(topper) on my '15 Sierra and it's becoming impossible to crawl in to load or unload items.  I try to pack things in reach while standing outside.  My wife has suggested a smaller SUV would better suit my needs but doesn't push.   I've gone without a pickup for brief periods of time in 50+ years of driving but always reverted back.  We are at a stage in our lives when such decisions don't have a lot of opportunity for future change.   Once I give up my truck....     This is why I believe a vehicle like a Maverick is so brilliant.  I can still have a truck but it's really a smaller car with an open back!   

Link to comment
Share on other sites

15 minutes ago, Donstar said:

I have a cab height canopy(topper) on my '15 Sierra and it's becoming impossible to crawl in to load or unload items.  I try to pack things in reach while standing outside.  My wife has suggested a smaller SUV would better suit my needs but doesn't push.   I've gone without a pickup for brief periods of time in 50+ years of driving but always reverted back.  We are at a stage in our lives when such decisions don't have a lot of opportunity for future change.   Once I give up my truck....     This is why I believe a vehicle like a Maverick is so brilliant.  I can still have a truck but it's really a smaller car with an open back!   

The only things age has done to me is slowed me down a bit. As far as the topper you could switch it out for a roll lock or even a soft top. So you could reach over the side. My father’s truck has a topper and roll out in its bed. That thing rattles. My father in law bought 4 vehicles between 85-92. The last one a year before he passed. He traveled a lot. I almost hate to say this but the easiest vehicle for just about everything is a minivan. Ours doesn’t get driven much though. I head for the avalanche, my wife heads towards her car. She can’t get in the avalanche without a ladder. And I have a hard time remembering to swing around and stand up to get out of her car. I one leg it like my truck. Ouch! That’s the nice thing about buying used you can have multiple vehicles. You don’t mention if your wife has a vehicle. Maybe you can compromise on that. As long as you can drive the truck I would keep it around. The only way my avalanche disappears would be for a better one.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes my wife has an '07 Toyota with <40k mi.!  Her preference would be to share one vehicle.  She doesn't like big vehicles and has no brand preference.  Ease of operation, color, and comfort are her priorities.  I do most of the driving and prefer full sized pickups or large SUV's. I also enjoy driving and see my vehicle as more than something to get me from point A to B.   I would prefer to remain a two vehicle couple.  However our needs and expenses continue to "mature" and I think a compromise lies in a Maverick or GM equivalent c/w her choice of color! 😉

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

40 minutes ago, Donstar said:

Yes my wife has an '07 Toyota with <40k mi.!  Her preference would be to share one vehicle.  She doesn't like big vehicles and has no brand preference.  Ease of operation, color, and comfort are her priorities.  I do most of the driving and prefer full sized pickups or large SUV's. I also enjoy driving and see my vehicle as more than something to get me from point A to B.   I would prefer to remain a two vehicle couple.  However our needs and expenses continue to "mature" and I think a compromise lies in a Maverick or GM equivalent c/w her choice of color! 😉

 

I’m eyeing the maverick myself. Like everything else in the automotive world there will soon be more to choose from. I figure in the next year Toyota and GM will hop in the market. The maverick and Santa Cruise will start showing up as CPO. After 50 years of being around me my wife is an enthusiast. She drives a sports sedan and has a sports car. The big difference is if she likes it she keeps it. She drives as much as me. Together we drive over 30K miles a year. Our auto insurance is low, registration is low. So dividing between multiple use cars is cheaper than buying one new one. Nether one of us would be satisfied with a Versa, Sentra, Chevy Spark type vehicle. We travel and my wife do to some botched surgery years ago has to lay down in the back seat after an hour of driving. That also keeps her from easily getting into a full sized pickup. I’m always going to have a pickup, she a car. That’s where the possibility of a maverick type of vehicle comes in. I’m just waiting for the bugs and real competition to come into play.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 5/6/2024 at 8:43 AM, Donstar said:

I have a cab height canopy(topper) on my '15 Sierra and it's becoming impossible to crawl in to load or unload items.  I try to pack things in reach while standing outside.  My wife has suggested a smaller SUV would better suit my needs but doesn't push.   I've gone without a pickup for brief periods of time in 50+ years of driving but always reverted back.  We are at a stage in our lives when such decisions don't have a lot of opportunity for future change.   Once I give up my truck....     This is why I believe a vehicle like a Maverick is so brilliant.  I can still have a truck but it's really a smaller car with an open back!   

 

Have you considered storage solutions. Something as simple as a ratcheting cargo bar, with or without net. 

 

Or as complete as: Cargo Management Systems for Pickup Trucks | Unruli® (stayunruli.com)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

16 hours ago, Grumpy Bear said:

 

Have you considered storage solutions. Something as simple as a ratcheting cargo bar, with or without net. 

 

Or as complete as: Cargo Management Systems for Pickup Trucks | Unruli® (stayunruli.com)

Thanks, Grumpy!  I am fine for now with keeping items in arms reach but a system like Unruli would be a great option!   For us, there is a lot of rarely used real estate in a full sized pickup.  Mrs. Donstar doesn't enjoy driving full sized vehicles and is striving for one "practical" vehicle in the garage.  However, both of our vehicles are in incredibly good condition and maintaining the status quo may prevent further "discussions".   

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

My wife and I spend much more time together in our later years and keeping the excitement alive is sometimes a challenge.  Compromise can be an effective tool but not for enhancing a situation.  In a compromise, you both "give in"  a little.  Our greatest moments are when we totally buy-in or serve to enhance our spouse's idea.  (You'll find that the give and take works out over the long term!)  If I get 100% behind my wife's bad idea, then she is likely to get behind my next worse idea! 😉  We may be planning to remodel a perfectly good kitchen now, but in the future I think I will need to remain more practical and upgrade my Freewheeler to a TriGlide! 

Edited by Donstar
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Donstar said:

My wife and I spend much more time together in our later years and keeping the excitement alive is sometimes a challenge.  Compromise can be an effective tool but not for enhancing a situation.  In a compromise, you both "give in"  a little.  Our greatest moments are when we totally buy-in or serve to enhance our spouse's idea.  (You'll find that the give and take works out over the long term!)  If I get 100% behind my wife's bad idea, then she is likely to get behind my next worse idea! 😉  We may be planning to remodel a perfectly good kitchen now, but in the future I think I will need to remain more practical and upgrade my Freewheeler to a TriGlide! 

Most long term marriages learn the art of compromise. Luckily we’re pretty much alike there’s not much need. My wife handle the investments and home buying. I could see she knew what she was doing so I said have at it. My vice was collecting cars. The compromise was an allowance. So I learned to flip cars. I eventually burned out and settled on one truck eventually led to the Avalanche. She has the collector car now. After the kids grew she started traveling with me for work. We learned we like playing cards and traveling together. So there’s little compromise. Only that I’m a morning person she’s a night. So when traveling that can be a challenge. I resolve that by explaining. You want to sleep in fine, you drive. So we’re usually on the road by 7. I’m sitting at the Hyundai dealership right now getting work done on her car. She hates doing that. So far I test drove several vehicles. Compromise? 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm also the morning person in our marriage.   She gets coffee and breakfast in bed most mornings! (She typically makes supper.)  We have a division of responsibilities but both are able to cover the other's tasks.  "Ours" and "we" are words used generously around our house.   I have an adult child in a relationship where "mine" and "I"  are often said.  They are 50/50 on all financial and domestic obligations.  One makes more money than the extra is used for personal benefit.  So sad.      

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)
29 minutes ago, Donstar said:

I'm also the morning person in our marriage.   She gets coffee and breakfast in bed most mornings! (She typically makes supper.)  We have a division of responsibilities but both are able to cover the other's tasks.  "Ours" and "we" are words used generously around our house.   I have an adult child in a relationship where "mine" and "I"  are often said.  They are 50/50 on all financial and domestic obligations.  One makes more money than the extra is used for personal benefit.  So sad.      

We are the same way, we got married when we were 25 and now were turning 60 this year bought our first house then got married and from day 1 everything was ours and we it was never your money and my money it was our money I took the bigger bills she took the small ones and the rest went into the bank. We both have to agree on purchases etc if one of us dont then we dont do it.Your money my money doesn't work in a marriage. I retired at 57 she is retiring at the end of this year at 60.

Edited by Silverado4x4
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thirty-three years here. We started with a line down the middle. We both had trust issues. 😬 Mine and Yours and matured to Us and Ours. We had dedicated tasks early on but jumped in when required like sickness or injury.  Now, just whoever gets to it first or who's in the mood. For example, we both like to cook and do it together sometimes but other times two in the kitchen is too much. Like when you're trying something new and need to concentrate. She drives when we have to GET THERE. I drive when we are just GOING THERE. :P 

 

We play to each other's strengths and cover each other's weaknesses and we let God drive the bus.

 

He gets first say in every life directing decision. More so as we mature. Job isn't done at any age. 😉 A threefold cord is not easily brokenEcclesiastes 4:12

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was 17 she was 15 when we met in high school. Double dating was the rule at first. We just clicked. Friday night, Saturday night and all day Sunday we were inseparable. That continues almost 50 years later. It was amusing when I first showed up with my red sports car, long sideburns and suede jacket. The first thing her step father said to me was it must be nice to have a rich dad. When I informed him that I saved my money by bailing hay starting at 12. There was a little look of relief. The horrified look on her mother’s face was priceless. Everything was always we. Later on once there was enough funds I had a budget for my hobby. Classic cars. It wasn’t much I built it up over the years. Sometimes I make a good profit I throw it towards the budget and start over. My wife saved it and surprised me with two cars. A 64 GTO and later a 69 dart gts. I admit I was an idiot with cars. My wife says she glad it’s not the ladies. It’s true people who get together in later years tend to keep finances separate. I rarely cared much when it came to house or furniture purchases. I really just didn’t care. Building our business and my vehicles every thing else was gravy. I do tease my wife about the first 25 years I had an acre to take care of now I have 3 and two houses. She answers you like the rent don’t you. She has a point, she always does. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.