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Why Men Can't Win

Zembonez

By Zembonez
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Zembonez Senior Enthusiast

Zembonez

Posted
Posted

Why Men Can't Win

 

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're insensitive.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist pig, you bastard. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.

If she asks you, it's a favor.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. If you don't, you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you're after something. If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist. If you're not, you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache, she's tired. If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore, and you must be sleeping around.

  • 5 weeks later...
Wingnut Senior Enthusiast

Wingnut

Posted
Posted
Why Men Can't Win

 

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum. This is why I don't work.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better. See my last answer.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity. See above.

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference. This is why I just grab their boobs with a wink and a smile.

If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're insensitive. Make them cry enough, and they won't notice your lack of tears.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist pig, you bastard. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman. I let her pick out the dishwasher, what else do you want? Jeez.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. Maybe the ball-gag WAS a bit much.

If she asks you, it's a favor. She better ask it with a pie in her hands.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. If you don't, you're a slob. I wouldn't be a slob if she didn't keep burning the pot roast, forcing me to live on McDonalds.

If you buy her flowers, you're after something. If you don't, you're not thoughtful. Flowers? Gardening is skirt-work.

If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist. If you're not, you're not ambitious. See my first answer.

If she has a headache, she's tired. If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore, and you must be sleeping around. Her sister IS hot though.

BigJayDogg3 Senior Enthusiast

BigJayDogg3

Posted
Posted

Wingnut, how in the world do you keep a G/F? If I told mine something like that, not only would she left-right, but she would do it while leaving me knocked the h-e-double hockeysticks out.

Zembonez Senior Enthusiast

Zembonez

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Maybe the ball-gag WAS a bit much.

Never thought I'd see THIS line in here! :lol:

 

As you know Wingnut... Emily would have me buried in the back yard saying things like "No, I havent seen him in weeks, officer"

Wingnut Senior Enthusiast

Wingnut

Posted
Posted
Wingnut, how in the world do you keep a G/F? If I told mine something like that, not only would she left-right, but she would do it while leaving me knocked the h-e-double hockeysticks out.

 

How do I keep them?

 

Tied to a post in the kitchen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:lol:

Zembonez Senior Enthusiast

Zembonez

Posted
  • Author
Posted
How do I keep them?

 

Tied to a post in the kitchen.

AHH. Just enough leash to cook and get to the fridge to bring you a beer huh?

Zembonez Senior Enthusiast

Zembonez

Posted
  • Author
Posted
How do I keep them?

 

Tied to a post in the kitchen.

AHH. Just enough leash to bring you a beer huh?

 

 

 

Jim I fixed that for you.

 

 

:uhoh::cheers:

 

Thanks man... like I don't get into enough trouble!

 

I keep watching your avatar... waiting for her to move.

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