Guy Rules

[dlstewart01]

The Guys' Rules*******************

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

 

Finally, the guys' side of the story.

(I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear "the rules"

From the female side.

 

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note.. these are all numbered "1"

ON PURPOSE!

 

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

 

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

We need it up, you need it down.

You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

 

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon

or the changing of the tides.

Let it be.

 

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.

And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

 

1. Crying is blackmail.

 

1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work !

Just say it!

 

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to

almost every question.

 

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help

solving it. That's what we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

 

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a doctor.

 

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in

an argument.

In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

 

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret

girls DON'T expect us to act like soap opera guys.

 

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.

Don't ask us.

 

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways

and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant

the other one

 

1. You can either ask us to do something

Or tell us how you want it done.

Not both.

If you already know best how to do it, just do it

yourself.

 

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to

say during commercials.

 

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and

neither do we.

 

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows

default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin

is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

 

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

We do that.

 

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We

will act like nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but It i s just not worth the

hassle.

 

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,

Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

 

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything

you wear is fine...Really.

 

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you

are prepared to discuss such topics as shooting, Smith & Wessons,

baseball, football, golf or cleavage.

 

1 . You have enough clothes.

 

1. You have too many shoes.

 

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

 

Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's

like camping.

[gregrocks89]

i like your thinking

[tbclrk]

I LOVE THIS! haha

[Zembonez]

HA!

[txab]

[Mayfieldsa1]

 

 

So true!

[Wacko2007]

PRICELESSS

[cev103]

Who ever wrote this hit the nail on the head!!

[chakis24]

haha. nice.

[KMGZ400]

if it itches, it WILL be scratched. haha i like that one

[user3657]

the last part about sleeping on the couch is like camping..........i ****in love it lol

[DMCooper]

rule number one... perfect!